“ with the type of confidence and authority that accumulates when we don’t know what we’re talking about. Lack of direct personal experience imparts a great confidence and certainty that can only arise when left unopposed by reality.”
So far, no crises as usual on Monday ( other than me needing to fax something for Rick to send to Social Services and I never use the fax machine, and Bill wasn't here, and do you believe....instead of a send button, you have to push "black" or "color"...Geez...how idiotic is that? Took me forever to figure it out...)
I too, am without children of my own, though I did borrow my nieces and nephews quite a bit ( they are all adults now with their own children ( except one, who, isn't interested in having any).
I had a lot of fun with them even took them on vacations with me and my ex when I was married.
I was close to them and while I was maybe a bit too free spirited for their parents, I also tried to lead by example as to responsible adult behavior also. I also spoiled them.
I don't know, Marque, while I get what your piece is saying and get it intellectually, and I think it was mostly a good thing, in my case this hands off thing also led to lack of interest in things I did that were important to me. We did run pretty wild, and that part was fun...but, to be fair, the dangers were a lot less then also. I think it taught me more about being the free spirit and doing what I wanted to do, which maybe went a bit too far?...lol...OTOH, I also hated getting yelled at, so would avoid situations where that might happen, and I had respect for "some" authority, but they had to prove to me they deserved it?
Oddly, I always wanted to be around adults indoors, I would sit on our steps to the second floor and listen to my parents and whoever was visiting, all the time. I wanted to be part of that conversation...lol
Anyway, I got off track here, I blame it on a quiet day and not much going on...lol...
I mean, they’ve been after me all day. It’s ridiculous. I wake up and they’re trying to break down the door, so I set up some automated turrets (they ran a delaying action) and climbed out the back window.
I’ve been driving west on Interstate 80 for a while now. If I listen closely, I can still hear them…
As I’ve approached oldness the last few years, I’ve tried really, really hard not to be that guy who talks about how great the good old days were, and how bad/spoiled/entitled/whatever “this younger generation” is. Nothing could make someone sound like a cranky old person than saying these things and I’m determined not to be like that. I also have a bad habit of trying to stop people from saying these things, which probably doesn’t go over so well. I’m starting to think that I’d be better off just not expressing my views any more. Yeah, that’s likely to happen.
I think the good old days of my teen years were great compared to modern teen lives. If my worse moments were saved on social media forever! Just imagining it makes me shudder.
"As I've approached oldness the last few years..."
Wasn't aware there was any "approach" to oldness. Thought one usually just woke up one day and found oneself to be old. Wait. Excuse me a minute...
[Sound of front door opening, footsteps out onto the porch]
Hey! Kid!! Get off my lawn!!! Why aren't you in school? School's out for the summer?? Well then, why don't you have a summer job? Lazy little so and so...
Brian, I've been waiting years to be allowed to curmudgeon. The Boomers took all those jobs for decades and undermined my credentials just because I was a few years or so younger and didn't pay enough dues yet.
I mostly like writing on other people's substack comment sections. I never really started a substack.... just signed up to sub to some and then joined their version of twitter and then all of a sudden next to my name there is some inference to a Substack as if I were official or something. Perhaps I could transfer my old blog there but I am afraid most would find it boring since it focuses mostly on sewing books (yes, a nerd as well as a curmudgeon).
Well, I should admit sewing is not a hobby of mine, but I think it is amazing what people can do with needle and thread, even if it's in sewing machine.
I was born in the first year of the so-called "Generation X" which is apparently the last generation before digital minders. We were minded by the analog TVs in our living rooms as they were too expensive by half to install in every room of the house as they are today (or at least carried in everyone's pockets in miniature form).
Since we were limited to 3 channels and television was such that children's programming was limited to before the weekday morning news and Saturday mornings.. that left more time on our hands to run or bike around the neighborhoods in packs until the streetlights turned on or we got hungry (in which case we made some PBJs and went back outside). We possessed nothing of value so were not considered muggable and were generally foul-mouthed out of adult earshot so civilized people kept a wide berth.
Granted, we have our flaws and psychological issues as a generation (I have read more than half of us are MAGA fans and our generation was over-represented at the Capital on Jan 6 and it wasn't in the Galleries) however, my impression is that the following generations have been raised as indoor cats and would probably starve if Mom didn't hit the Costco every week and stock the premade snack drawer. As such, they likely have developed some adaptations that render some physical oversensitivity to fluctuations in environmental controls (such as heat and cold) and some muscular underdevelopment as well as risks of overstimulation, catastrophizing, extra-sensitivity, overthinking/racing thoughts and a preponderance of navel-gazing.
I would not be surprised if they have logged more hours in physician waiting rooms by the age of majority (21) than my parents did by the age of 65 (of course, as the latch-key generation, we hardly ever went to the doctor because we were playground-hardened and told to tough it out and were walking specimens of the 72 hour cure as there was really no such thing as CHIP or kids health insurance for the working class kids (we considered working class kids who's Moms and Grandmas had to work in the early 1970s--economic trendsetters!).
It is not like we didn't have technology--our house had running water, indoor toilets, a telephone that came with strict rules of usage, and we had to learn to deliberate and compromise as there was one TV and ultimately defer to authority ({s}he who owns the house makes the rules and decides all matters regarding the broadcast). We also had to take showers in shifts with one bathroom:, you miss your shift, you lose and learn the intricacies of mechanical alarm clocks and bus schedules as there was no one carting our butts around town, (gas costs money, rides cost time). These are skills I note are lacking as well.. in fact, I don't think I actually know anyone under the age of 50 that even owns an alarm clock. The whole world is F'd when the power goes out.
So, while I understand there is a lot of neuro-divergence as well as gender, sex role & orientation divergence out there... I am not sure it wasn't always there, just that no one gave a crap and were just told to get their proverbial shit together and get to work cutting the grass, doing homework or cleaning something because function was more important than feelings so we just adapted and let our freak fly at more opportune times that did not include our parents.
Born in '48. Outdoor, unsupervised play was a great teacher of how to get along. Sure, we argued, but we figured out how to resolve it so the game could go on. When I was coaching youth soccer (as a grandfather), I was shocked at how many of the parents whose kids played did not let their kids go to some field or park to play unsupervised. When would they learn conflict resolution if adults were always present to impose some order?
Yes, we played until it was too dark to see the ball or we were hungry. We also just went out to play and found each other. Play dates? What?
Sounds familiar but I am a boomer, youngest of 5. My parents never attended a single ball game I played (can’t blame them). Actually less than half the kids had parents there. Until high school, then everyone attended.
Yeah, my dad was always working and rarely available to come to see me do what I did in HS( drama club, pom-pom girl at football games etc) though he did make it to my graduation and to my induction into National Honor Society. thank goodness...
My mom didn't attend much either..( I was especially annoyed at her not coming to the plays I was in, ( though no surprise she did attend my younger sisters)..I am sure it made me more resilient, but it also hurt my feelings, like they didn't care enough to come see me do well ( my dad I understood more, as he did have a almost constant job) , and then there were general issues with my mother anyway, she didn't work outside the home and had more free time.
For a couple of parents who impressed on me the value of education, succeeding and stuff, it was kinda odd...then they did derail my college plans sigh
I remember my brother finally guilted my dad into going to his high school track meet. Afterwards there was some kind of picnic gathering, and my brother was disappointed that Dad was ready to go home. I want to say that my brother mentioned this within the last 10 years, and is still disappointed.
Well, our dad worked hard. He was out of town most of the week, and when he was home, he was fixing things, and just busy. Even as an adult, my dad came to one horse show, and only managed to last through (and critique) my ride. I was probably the third rider out of ten. Other than the “critique,” I was happy my parents showed up at all.
Yeah, my parents were always at work-- both worked 2 jobs. Also didn't have time to take us to things like girl scouts etc. When I had a kid I tried to be a PTA mom because my mom was never involved. I discovered she dodged a bullet. The rules had changed as my son's school expected a lot more out of parents than my schools ever did. They just expected my parents to feed me, put a roof over my head, clothe me and ensure I got to school on time and sign my report card. That was like.. it. Ok, maybe they expected them to punish me for bad grades too. But I knew if they got a phone call from my teacher, I was in big trouble so we toed the line. My stepbrother was in H.S. Wrestling and my stepfather never went to his matches. I think because of his jobs. He (my stepbrother) ended up with a ROTC scholarship to Arizona State (about as far away from home as he could get). He flew planes in the Air Force and ultimately became an instructor before he took a discharge.
No kids here but I am “that Aunt”. My sisters call me “The Instigator” and I take that job seriously. Now that all my nieces and nephews are adults, I can see they are trying to figure out if I actually became an adult too. Nope. I am waiting patiently for them to start having kids so I can earn my “Instigator” reputation from a new generation.
As such, I can pass no judgment on them for their parental decisions because I am the one trying to get their kids into age appropriate trouble.
I learned I wasn't as fast or strong or funny as the other kids. But I had an innate sense of fair play. Who are you to poke at my childhood dreams of being a referee?
I'm just a kid who played without one. In fact, when I coached youth soccer, I got to a field and met the opposing coach and the ref didn't show up. The other coach asked me what I thought we should do so I called all the kids (both teams together) and told them they'd play without a referee. The looked at me in wonder and I explained that if someone kicked the ball out of bounds, it was up to that kid to say it was off him and the game should go on. All went well for half the game and then I saw it come to a halt. All the kids were across the field so I called them over. I said, I only wanted one of them to answer the next question and then I asked what happened. It was quiet for a few seconds, then one kid said 'it was off me. I kicked it out of bounds." I just said, okay, and the game continued. The game continued without incident and all had a good time. Never saw a ref that day and the kids learned something. The opposing coach, a full generation younger than me, was first dubious and later amazed.
Most people are surprised when they find out my age. They all think I look younger. I believe that it is a function of my immaturity manifesting physically.
Double sheesh :) Writing has it's drawbacks. You can't see me smile or smirk and I can't see if you take something more seriously than I intend it. Yeah, this is the whole playing together thing. If we were actually outside playing together, we'd hear tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, eyes, etc. When kids communicate online, even facetime or zoom, they don't get it all just as we don't.
Oh yeah, no one should get away with attacking you for who you are. If someone does, just tell them you have friends a CSLF. We've got your back.
Yeah, it sounded to me ( and I am willing to admit I am sensitive to this kind of thing online, IRL not so much, for the reasons you say and because it happens to me for real online a lot, but rarely in person) like it was a chastisement for defining it...and then 7 people upvoted it so I freaked out...lol..( as in I was embarrassed...)
Well, apparently there are some parents who let their kids play because my husband and I saw a three or four year old wandering alone on the sidewalk last night while driving. I spied her right away and pulled over. I took her little hand and asked her where she lived. She told me she was looking for her brother. Thank goodness the sheriff was driving by and I flagged him down. Once the sheriff arrived, the brother arrived on his bicycle, and he was no more than six years old. I left them in the care of the authorities.
We adopted a grandson, after getting custody when he was only 8 months old. In 4th grade, I gave him a little freedom after school on which we built over the next several years. The deal was this. "I give you a bit of freedom. You want more? You give me responsibility. Then, you get more freedom." I did my part by teaching him what responsibility meant, what I expected of him. He did his part and I lived up to my end of the deal. No, he was not an angel (I didn't want that, either), but it worked. When parents hover and supervise or make sure the kids are always under some adult supervision, they won't learn responsibility. However, I suspect they will rebel at some point and then will do so without having learned the responsibility side of the equation.
Older siblings were frequently put in charge of younger siblings and caught hell if the younger sibling did something wrong or got lost... But we did somehow instinctively know that if we got lost, to go into the closest store and tell the proprietor and they would call the police to bring you home. As such, we all had to memorize our address and phone number. And yes, I think I would have been at least sent to bed without dinner or whupped if my younger sister was brought home by the police. I did get a ride home from the police myself after finding myself lost on a blighted city street (took the wrong exit out of the city park on my bike) but being the eldest.. no asses were whupped on my behalf. Times have changed indeed. When my mother was 8 and 9 years old, she was taking the subway by herself to singing/dancing lessons in Times Square in the 1950s.
I’m not sure how old my mother was, but probably in grade school when she was given a quarter so she could take the train to DC to see a movie! She actually got to see Bob Hope do some kind of “warm-up” before the movie started. She said that a quarter paid for her trip to and from the city, the movie, and a Coke. That was probably in the early late 20s or early 30s.
Good that you stopped and it all ended as it did -- safely. Stuff happens and always has. I think, however, that the point of the day still stands. Your story points to the importance of teaching kids some responsibility at the same time that we give them freedom. The two must go hand in hand.
Personally, I never worried that someone would steal my sister. She was a spoiled screaming brat (she was 7 years younger and gave me chicken pox). I will remind her of this in the Fall when we go to NYC together to see the Yankees.
I’m in Zurich airport. Did you know you have to go through passport control between gates?
Picky people they are. Flight is delayed 45 minutes, so I’ll miss my Chicago 3 Dayton flight. But our University travel agent doesn’t open until after takeoff. It’ll be an adventure.
Spur of the moment yesterday, I decided to visit the Museo Midici. 10 Euros, only 2 exhibit rooms. One contains two tombs designed by Michelangelo. Dusk & Dawn, and Night & Day. Each has an old guy and younger, topless woman. The roof looks like the Pantheon. But beautiful work. The other exhibit room is 3-4stories tall, a kingly room full of frescoes, statues, cool stuff. Well worth it.
Why did I go? I went to a giant food court called Mikado. It has easily 50 different vendors. The tables were full so I went to a nearby fiancé to eat and I walked past the midici entrance. A nice last day visit.
Only 2 students missed flights, 9 are meeting parents here. Not sure if they are drone parents, or parents wanting a quick vacay. Money is on drones.
Today's special animal friend is Pallas's cat, Otocolobus manul. "Manul" is a common name for this species, which is also known as the "steppe cat." Pallas's cat is one of the world's smaller wild cats, growing up to two feet in body length, with a one-foot tail, and about a foot high; an adult weighs between five and ten lbs. They are found in Central Asia, as far west as the Caspian Sea, east into China, with the highest population in Russia and Mongolia. South of the Tibetan Plateau, they are found in Afghanistan and Pakistan. They prefer altitudes below 5,000 feet with no more than a few inches of snow.
Pallas's cat looks larger than it is because of its very thick coat. They have a fine, very dense undercoat with guard hairs up to three inches long. They can have 58,000 hairs per square inch. (Humans have about 1,000.) Pallas's cat seems even more offended than most cats because its ears are set unusually low on the sides of its skull. This feature helps the cat remain hidden when stalking prey. It can look over or around an obstacle without its ears showing, while maintaining its full range of hearing.
These are solitary animals with a low population density. Each one will have several dens, sometimes with multiple entrances, in its home range. They make dens in caves, rock crevices, and marmot burrows. They probably ate the marmots, since they are voracious predators of small rodents and lagomorphs. A common hunting strategy is to ambush the prey as it leaves its den, but they will also reach into holes to extract the prey. They also eat some birds and insects.
Because Pallas's cat is difficult to observe in the wild, not much is known about their mating behavior. Mating season seems to be late fall/early winter, and two to six kittens are born in April or May. They are mature and able to hunt for themselves after six or seven months, and they begin breeding after a year. Up to two thirds of kittens do not survive long enough to reproduce in the wild ... as far as researchers can tell. It is very hard to study this species!
The conservation status of Pallas's cat is muddled. IUCN lists it as "least concern" because of its very broad range, but China considers it Endangered and Turkmenistan says Critically Endangered. It is hunted for fur and "medicine," even though this is illegal. Other threats include predation by domestic and feral dogs, habitat disruption because of mining and infrastructure, and the loss of prey populations. In Mongolia, poison is used on the grasslands to kill rodents, which burrow, causing subsidence, and eat roots, killing grass. This is very bad for raptors and terrestrial predators.
Pallas's cat is a high priority for captive breeding programs in Europe, North America, and Japan. However, infant mortality is high, up to 50%, and keeping adults alive is also difficult. We need to learn much more about Pallas's cat to assist in its long-term survival.
What a cool cat, and I love that meow that sounded a lot like my cats in the first video....( I was holding my breath the whole time hoping I wasn't going to see him catch one of those rodents and eat it...lol)...awesome cat though
I cannot tell you how many times I saw “Otocolobus,” and thought “octopus.” I like them, too, but this is a great looking cat, and I’m especially loving the first BBC video! Then again, that second one when the cat is looking into the camera… 😂 (I keep going back to watch another video, and ALL of them are good! This might be one of my all-time favorites!!)
Nope. Cats have tails of different proportions. The snow leopard's is particularly long, proportionally, while the bobcat's, of course, is very short. Some mammals have tails equal to or greater than their body length.
Ten kids does not make an expert. You needed 11 to qualify. Try again.
Just kidding, of course. I don't think the comments are aimed at any specific parent, but I do think they hold up as a generality and kids and parents are the worse for it. I wonder if it will cycle in the other direction in the next generation.
In my opinion, the cycle is always going to turn, but in which direction is unpredictable. I see it as a randomly bouncing beachball rather than a pendulum.
Thank you. Not only that, we have a perfect record of "No lost limbs and no felony record before age 21." (Also after age 21, but I don't want to be over-ambitious.)
PS: The weather here is very nice, 60' and 70', and supposed to be this way at least through Wednesday.
“ with the type of confidence and authority that accumulates when we don’t know what we’re talking about. Lack of direct personal experience imparts a great confidence and certainty that can only arise when left unopposed by reality.”
I just love this 😂😂😂😂
I was a free-range playful kid of the 50s / early 60s sans hovering parents and look how I turned out.
Wait. Maybe not the best argument for free-range playful kids sans hovering parents.
Good Monday Morning All...
So far, no crises as usual on Monday ( other than me needing to fax something for Rick to send to Social Services and I never use the fax machine, and Bill wasn't here, and do you believe....instead of a send button, you have to push "black" or "color"...Geez...how idiotic is that? Took me forever to figure it out...)
I too, am without children of my own, though I did borrow my nieces and nephews quite a bit ( they are all adults now with their own children ( except one, who, isn't interested in having any).
I had a lot of fun with them even took them on vacations with me and my ex when I was married.
I was close to them and while I was maybe a bit too free spirited for their parents, I also tried to lead by example as to responsible adult behavior also. I also spoiled them.
I don't know, Marque, while I get what your piece is saying and get it intellectually, and I think it was mostly a good thing, in my case this hands off thing also led to lack of interest in things I did that were important to me. We did run pretty wild, and that part was fun...but, to be fair, the dangers were a lot less then also. I think it taught me more about being the free spirit and doing what I wanted to do, which maybe went a bit too far?...lol...OTOH, I also hated getting yelled at, so would avoid situations where that might happen, and I had respect for "some" authority, but they had to prove to me they deserved it?
Oddly, I always wanted to be around adults indoors, I would sit on our steps to the second floor and listen to my parents and whoever was visiting, all the time. I wanted to be part of that conversation...lol
Anyway, I got off track here, I blame it on a quiet day and not much going on...lol...
Thought Jack might like this one:
https://www.thedailybeast.com/zoo-denies-viral-claims-its-bears-are-humans-in-disguise?ref=home
Oh my stars…
They’re after me…
I mean, they’ve been after me all day. It’s ridiculous. I wake up and they’re trying to break down the door, so I set up some automated turrets (they ran a delaying action) and climbed out the back window.
I’ve been driving west on Interstate 80 for a while now. If I listen closely, I can still hear them…
😱 thoughts and prayers.
Gracias.
Might as well pile on here a bit. For Jack's sake, of course. Know his need to stay informed on ursine issues...
https://apnews.com/article/bear-backyard-jacuzzi-pool-california-16549bf7609e1a9b6e2e3fc28a807cb7
We all must have Jack’s back.
It's not all that heavy a burden to bear.
Don’t you want to claw that back?
Excuse me a moment while I paws to consider that.
No, not really.
Den were appear to be done here.
Never trust the denial, Jack!
Exactly!
As I’ve approached oldness the last few years, I’ve tried really, really hard not to be that guy who talks about how great the good old days were, and how bad/spoiled/entitled/whatever “this younger generation” is. Nothing could make someone sound like a cranky old person than saying these things and I’m determined not to be like that. I also have a bad habit of trying to stop people from saying these things, which probably doesn’t go over so well. I’m starting to think that I’d be better off just not expressing my views any more. Yeah, that’s likely to happen.
I think the good old days of my teen years were great compared to modern teen lives. If my worse moments were saved on social media forever! Just imagining it makes me shudder.
"As I've approached oldness the last few years..."
Wasn't aware there was any "approach" to oldness. Thought one usually just woke up one day and found oneself to be old. Wait. Excuse me a minute...
[Sound of front door opening, footsteps out onto the porch]
Hey! Kid!! Get off my lawn!!! Why aren't you in school? School's out for the summer?? Well then, why don't you have a summer job? Lazy little so and so...
[Sound of footsteps, front door opening]
Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah...
Like today, maybe.
Brian, I've been waiting years to be allowed to curmudgeon. The Boomers took all those jobs for decades and undermined my credentials just because I was a few years or so younger and didn't pay enough dues yet.
Uh, I tried to comment on your substack but, apparently, you have to write something to make comments possible. :)
I mostly like writing on other people's substack comment sections. I never really started a substack.... just signed up to sub to some and then joined their version of twitter and then all of a sudden next to my name there is some inference to a Substack as if I were official or something. Perhaps I could transfer my old blog there but I am afraid most would find it boring since it focuses mostly on sewing books (yes, a nerd as well as a curmudgeon).
I would love to read a blog about sewing books!
Well, I should admit sewing is not a hobby of mine, but I think it is amazing what people can do with needle and thread, even if it's in sewing machine.
I was born in the first year of the so-called "Generation X" which is apparently the last generation before digital minders. We were minded by the analog TVs in our living rooms as they were too expensive by half to install in every room of the house as they are today (or at least carried in everyone's pockets in miniature form).
Since we were limited to 3 channels and television was such that children's programming was limited to before the weekday morning news and Saturday mornings.. that left more time on our hands to run or bike around the neighborhoods in packs until the streetlights turned on or we got hungry (in which case we made some PBJs and went back outside). We possessed nothing of value so were not considered muggable and were generally foul-mouthed out of adult earshot so civilized people kept a wide berth.
Granted, we have our flaws and psychological issues as a generation (I have read more than half of us are MAGA fans and our generation was over-represented at the Capital on Jan 6 and it wasn't in the Galleries) however, my impression is that the following generations have been raised as indoor cats and would probably starve if Mom didn't hit the Costco every week and stock the premade snack drawer. As such, they likely have developed some adaptations that render some physical oversensitivity to fluctuations in environmental controls (such as heat and cold) and some muscular underdevelopment as well as risks of overstimulation, catastrophizing, extra-sensitivity, overthinking/racing thoughts and a preponderance of navel-gazing.
I would not be surprised if they have logged more hours in physician waiting rooms by the age of majority (21) than my parents did by the age of 65 (of course, as the latch-key generation, we hardly ever went to the doctor because we were playground-hardened and told to tough it out and were walking specimens of the 72 hour cure as there was really no such thing as CHIP or kids health insurance for the working class kids (we considered working class kids who's Moms and Grandmas had to work in the early 1970s--economic trendsetters!).
It is not like we didn't have technology--our house had running water, indoor toilets, a telephone that came with strict rules of usage, and we had to learn to deliberate and compromise as there was one TV and ultimately defer to authority ({s}he who owns the house makes the rules and decides all matters regarding the broadcast). We also had to take showers in shifts with one bathroom:, you miss your shift, you lose and learn the intricacies of mechanical alarm clocks and bus schedules as there was no one carting our butts around town, (gas costs money, rides cost time). These are skills I note are lacking as well.. in fact, I don't think I actually know anyone under the age of 50 that even owns an alarm clock. The whole world is F'd when the power goes out.
So, while I understand there is a lot of neuro-divergence as well as gender, sex role & orientation divergence out there... I am not sure it wasn't always there, just that no one gave a crap and were just told to get their proverbial shit together and get to work cutting the grass, doing homework or cleaning something because function was more important than feelings so we just adapted and let our freak fly at more opportune times that did not include our parents.
You say you were born in '65? You sure it wasn't '64? Sounds an awful lot like a Boomer talkin' here. :-D
Fabulous!
Love this!
Born in '48. Outdoor, unsupervised play was a great teacher of how to get along. Sure, we argued, but we figured out how to resolve it so the game could go on. When I was coaching youth soccer (as a grandfather), I was shocked at how many of the parents whose kids played did not let their kids go to some field or park to play unsupervised. When would they learn conflict resolution if adults were always present to impose some order?
Yes, we played until it was too dark to see the ball or we were hungry. We also just went out to play and found each other. Play dates? What?
I can relate!
Sounds familiar but I am a boomer, youngest of 5. My parents never attended a single ball game I played (can’t blame them). Actually less than half the kids had parents there. Until high school, then everyone attended.
Yeah, my dad was always working and rarely available to come to see me do what I did in HS( drama club, pom-pom girl at football games etc) though he did make it to my graduation and to my induction into National Honor Society. thank goodness...
My mom didn't attend much either..( I was especially annoyed at her not coming to the plays I was in, ( though no surprise she did attend my younger sisters)..I am sure it made me more resilient, but it also hurt my feelings, like they didn't care enough to come see me do well ( my dad I understood more, as he did have a almost constant job) , and then there were general issues with my mother anyway, she didn't work outside the home and had more free time.
For a couple of parents who impressed on me the value of education, succeeding and stuff, it was kinda odd...then they did derail my college plans sigh
I remember my brother finally guilted my dad into going to his high school track meet. Afterwards there was some kind of picnic gathering, and my brother was disappointed that Dad was ready to go home. I want to say that my brother mentioned this within the last 10 years, and is still disappointed.
Well, our dad worked hard. He was out of town most of the week, and when he was home, he was fixing things, and just busy. Even as an adult, my dad came to one horse show, and only managed to last through (and critique) my ride. I was probably the third rider out of ten. Other than the “critique,” I was happy my parents showed up at all.
Yeah, my parents were always at work-- both worked 2 jobs. Also didn't have time to take us to things like girl scouts etc. When I had a kid I tried to be a PTA mom because my mom was never involved. I discovered she dodged a bullet. The rules had changed as my son's school expected a lot more out of parents than my schools ever did. They just expected my parents to feed me, put a roof over my head, clothe me and ensure I got to school on time and sign my report card. That was like.. it. Ok, maybe they expected them to punish me for bad grades too. But I knew if they got a phone call from my teacher, I was in big trouble so we toed the line. My stepbrother was in H.S. Wrestling and my stepfather never went to his matches. I think because of his jobs. He (my stepbrother) ended up with a ROTC scholarship to Arizona State (about as far away from home as he could get). He flew planes in the Air Force and ultimately became an instructor before he took a discharge.
As someone who has never even considered writing a daily column of any type, with no comparable experience at all, let me say, Well done.
As to the topic at hand, yup.
No kids here but I am “that Aunt”. My sisters call me “The Instigator” and I take that job seriously. Now that all my nieces and nephews are adults, I can see they are trying to figure out if I actually became an adult too. Nope. I am waiting patiently for them to start having kids so I can earn my “Instigator” reputation from a new generation.
As such, I can pass no judgment on them for their parental decisions because I am the one trying to get their kids into age appropriate trouble.
I love it! The Instigator! I bet you are also a Questioner.
Clearly their concept of "age inappropriate" is the real problem.
Age inappropriate = ✅️
Instigator = ✅️
Inappropriate Instigator = ❌️
We learned to play without referees to enforce the rules. Too subtle?
I learned I wasn't as fast or strong or funny as the other kids. But I had an innate sense of fair play. Who are you to poke at my childhood dreams of being a referee?
I'm just a kid who played without one. In fact, when I coached youth soccer, I got to a field and met the opposing coach and the ref didn't show up. The other coach asked me what I thought we should do so I called all the kids (both teams together) and told them they'd play without a referee. The looked at me in wonder and I explained that if someone kicked the ball out of bounds, it was up to that kid to say it was off him and the game should go on. All went well for half the game and then I saw it come to a halt. All the kids were across the field so I called them over. I said, I only wanted one of them to answer the next question and then I asked what happened. It was quiet for a few seconds, then one kid said 'it was off me. I kicked it out of bounds." I just said, okay, and the game continued. The game continued without incident and all had a good time. Never saw a ref that day and the kids learned something. The opposing coach, a full generation younger than me, was first dubious and later amazed.
Did you also learn not to comment on conversations without participating in them? Or is being a critic different than being a referee? 😉
A) I'm stuck on how to comment without participating, unless you think that's B
B) A critic is there to comment, a referee is there to rule/enforce. Referees should be objective. Does anyone expect critics to be objective?
Good morning, Josh. Fun playing with you, without referees, this morning!
Love it! We, who do not grow up, can be of great service to each new generation simply by virtue of our not being grown up, or even pretending to be.
Most people are surprised when they find out my age. They all think I look younger. I believe that it is a function of my immaturity manifesting physically.
Yes, love it!
I define t his in myself as child-like, not childish
We have allowed the wrong people to define "grown up."
I always say I can adult when I need to, but generally I have the spirit of a kid.
Maybe, but I have no interest in qualifying so the definition doesn't matter to me. :)
This is important to me when questioned or attacked for being me, just my response, nothing to do with you, thanks
I was just sharing my perspective not suggesting anything to you
Sheesh
Double sheesh :) Writing has it's drawbacks. You can't see me smile or smirk and I can't see if you take something more seriously than I intend it. Yeah, this is the whole playing together thing. If we were actually outside playing together, we'd hear tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, eyes, etc. When kids communicate online, even facetime or zoom, they don't get it all just as we don't.
Oh yeah, no one should get away with attacking you for who you are. If someone does, just tell them you have friends a CSLF. We've got your back.
ha ha..thanks, yes
Yeah, it sounded to me ( and I am willing to admit I am sensitive to this kind of thing online, IRL not so much, for the reasons you say and because it happens to me for real online a lot, but rarely in person) like it was a chastisement for defining it...and then 7 people upvoted it so I freaked out...lol..( as in I was embarrassed...)
I am sorry if I misunderstood...
Well, apparently there are some parents who let their kids play because my husband and I saw a three or four year old wandering alone on the sidewalk last night while driving. I spied her right away and pulled over. I took her little hand and asked her where she lived. She told me she was looking for her brother. Thank goodness the sheriff was driving by and I flagged him down. Once the sheriff arrived, the brother arrived on his bicycle, and he was no more than six years old. I left them in the care of the authorities.
We adopted a grandson, after getting custody when he was only 8 months old. In 4th grade, I gave him a little freedom after school on which we built over the next several years. The deal was this. "I give you a bit of freedom. You want more? You give me responsibility. Then, you get more freedom." I did my part by teaching him what responsibility meant, what I expected of him. He did his part and I lived up to my end of the deal. No, he was not an angel (I didn't want that, either), but it worked. When parents hover and supervise or make sure the kids are always under some adult supervision, they won't learn responsibility. However, I suspect they will rebel at some point and then will do so without having learned the responsibility side of the equation.
Older siblings were frequently put in charge of younger siblings and caught hell if the younger sibling did something wrong or got lost... But we did somehow instinctively know that if we got lost, to go into the closest store and tell the proprietor and they would call the police to bring you home. As such, we all had to memorize our address and phone number. And yes, I think I would have been at least sent to bed without dinner or whupped if my younger sister was brought home by the police. I did get a ride home from the police myself after finding myself lost on a blighted city street (took the wrong exit out of the city park on my bike) but being the eldest.. no asses were whupped on my behalf. Times have changed indeed. When my mother was 8 and 9 years old, she was taking the subway by herself to singing/dancing lessons in Times Square in the 1950s.
I’m not sure how old my mother was, but probably in grade school when she was given a quarter so she could take the train to DC to see a movie! She actually got to see Bob Hope do some kind of “warm-up” before the movie started. She said that a quarter paid for her trip to and from the city, the movie, and a Coke. That was probably in the early late 20s or early 30s.
Good that you stopped and it all ended as it did -- safely. Stuff happens and always has. I think, however, that the point of the day still stands. Your story points to the importance of teaching kids some responsibility at the same time that we give them freedom. The two must go hand in hand.
Personally, I never worried that someone would steal my sister. She was a spoiled screaming brat (she was 7 years younger and gave me chicken pox). I will remind her of this in the Fall when we go to NYC together to see the Yankees.
I’m in Zurich airport. Did you know you have to go through passport control between gates?
Picky people they are. Flight is delayed 45 minutes, so I’ll miss my Chicago 3 Dayton flight. But our University travel agent doesn’t open until after takeoff. It’ll be an adventure.
Spur of the moment yesterday, I decided to visit the Museo Midici. 10 Euros, only 2 exhibit rooms. One contains two tombs designed by Michelangelo. Dusk & Dawn, and Night & Day. Each has an old guy and younger, topless woman. The roof looks like the Pantheon. But beautiful work. The other exhibit room is 3-4stories tall, a kingly room full of frescoes, statues, cool stuff. Well worth it.
Why did I go? I went to a giant food court called Mikado. It has easily 50 different vendors. The tables were full so I went to a nearby fiancé to eat and I walked past the midici entrance. A nice last day visit.
Only 2 students missed flights, 9 are meeting parents here. Not sure if they are drone parents, or parents wanting a quick vacay. Money is on drones.
"The tables were full so I went to a nearby fiancé to eat ..."
?????????
Did you expect him to go to a far away fiance?
No comment.
Well not said
Professional training.
Yes, this is also where I need some clarity.
Piazza, not sure how that auto corrected
I finally turned of auto correct because I kept getting such weird stuff! But, glad you had such a great time, and that you’re coming home!!
Right? So. Many. Questions.
With any luck, you’ll have advantageous winds and arrive enough ahead of your connection.
"The tables were full so I went to a nearby fiancé to eat ..."
There could be some really interesting backstory for this.
Piazza
She made pizza for you or that is where you met her?
Met him. Fiancé is masculine; fiancée is feminine.
Ah, I didn't know that. I'm also sure that in this world using either can get you in trouble with someone. Sigh
Come to think of it, Jay is headed for trouble with either of those. I don't think Mrs. J will care about the spelling.
🤭 You are such a trouble maker!
I'm just asking for a bit of clarification. He started it!
That’s what you always say! 😉
That's very different from "fiancé."
I'm sure Jay knew that, even after take-off, this would not fly with this crowd.
<audible groan>
Please take-off through the 🚪.
Phil would be proud!
et tu, Brute?
I play both sides of the punster wars - equally badly, I might add! But never before have I been accused of dressing in female ballet attire.
Today's special animal friend is Pallas's cat, Otocolobus manul. "Manul" is a common name for this species, which is also known as the "steppe cat." Pallas's cat is one of the world's smaller wild cats, growing up to two feet in body length, with a one-foot tail, and about a foot high; an adult weighs between five and ten lbs. They are found in Central Asia, as far west as the Caspian Sea, east into China, with the highest population in Russia and Mongolia. South of the Tibetan Plateau, they are found in Afghanistan and Pakistan. They prefer altitudes below 5,000 feet with no more than a few inches of snow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgrV3_g9rYY&t=10s
Pallas's cat looks larger than it is because of its very thick coat. They have a fine, very dense undercoat with guard hairs up to three inches long. They can have 58,000 hairs per square inch. (Humans have about 1,000.) Pallas's cat seems even more offended than most cats because its ears are set unusually low on the sides of its skull. This feature helps the cat remain hidden when stalking prey. It can look over or around an obstacle without its ears showing, while maintaining its full range of hearing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sg8FMNEt8KY
These are solitary animals with a low population density. Each one will have several dens, sometimes with multiple entrances, in its home range. They make dens in caves, rock crevices, and marmot burrows. They probably ate the marmots, since they are voracious predators of small rodents and lagomorphs. A common hunting strategy is to ambush the prey as it leaves its den, but they will also reach into holes to extract the prey. They also eat some birds and insects.
Because Pallas's cat is difficult to observe in the wild, not much is known about their mating behavior. Mating season seems to be late fall/early winter, and two to six kittens are born in April or May. They are mature and able to hunt for themselves after six or seven months, and they begin breeding after a year. Up to two thirds of kittens do not survive long enough to reproduce in the wild ... as far as researchers can tell. It is very hard to study this species!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKanXAV-yUU
The conservation status of Pallas's cat is muddled. IUCN lists it as "least concern" because of its very broad range, but China considers it Endangered and Turkmenistan says Critically Endangered. It is hunted for fur and "medicine," even though this is illegal. Other threats include predation by domestic and feral dogs, habitat disruption because of mining and infrastructure, and the loss of prey populations. In Mongolia, poison is used on the grasslands to kill rodents, which burrow, causing subsidence, and eat roots, killing grass. This is very bad for raptors and terrestrial predators.
Pallas's cat is a high priority for captive breeding programs in Europe, North America, and Japan. However, infant mortality is high, up to 50%, and keeping adults alive is also difficult. We need to learn much more about Pallas's cat to assist in its long-term survival.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzK6NFoBPXs
What a cool cat, and I love that meow that sounded a lot like my cats in the first video....( I was holding my breath the whole time hoping I wasn't going to see him catch one of those rodents and eat it...lol)...awesome cat though
I cannot tell you how many times I saw “Otocolobus,” and thought “octopus.” I like them, too, but this is a great looking cat, and I’m especially loving the first BBC video! Then again, that second one when the cat is looking into the camera… 😂 (I keep going back to watch another video, and ALL of them are good! This might be one of my all-time favorites!!)
I was waiting for him to give the camera a good whack.
The expression is priceless! Even the one the two researchers were holding mostly looked very annoyed! 😂
They can't help looking annoyed, even if they're really happy. It's the ears.
2 foot bod length and 1 foot tail. Is that a general ratio for cats of all sizes? Does it apply to other animals?
Nope. Cats have tails of different proportions. The snow leopard's is particularly long, proportionally, while the bobcat's, of course, is very short. Some mammals have tails equal to or greater than their body length.
Video number two is cute.
Perfect portrait of the grumpy-but-cuddly-get-off-my-lawn curmudgeon!
https://images.app.goo.gl/dGemXWnFHVweg4tT9
It's the combination of the immensely plush coat and the ears.
> This feature helps the cat remain hidden when stalking prey. <
That’s my excuse, too.
While retaining your full range of hearing.
Good morning. I don't need experts to tell me I did it wrong: I have my kids.
Ten kids does not make an expert. You needed 11 to qualify. Try again.
Just kidding, of course. I don't think the comments are aimed at any specific parent, but I do think they hold up as a generality and kids and parents are the worse for it. I wonder if it will cycle in the other direction in the next generation.
In my opinion, the cycle is always going to turn, but in which direction is unpredictable. I see it as a randomly bouncing beachball rather than a pendulum.
Interesting image. Beachballs can be batted back and forth but also blown by any wind. I wonder if the folks at TikTok ever think about the pendulum.
Pendulums are physical objects, rather than imaginary, so probably not.
Ouch! Well done!
I think that we can make physical what we imagine, and we can imagine that which is physical.
Will you please imagine that I'm thin, then?
Morning.
Wow! Straight for the big guns!
I also have my mother.
to tell you you did it wrong?
Yes.
Moms know best! But which Mom? Aww, the heck with it - anyone who raises 10 kids deserves ro be insulated from all extra-legal judgments.
Thank you. Not only that, we have a perfect record of "No lost limbs and no felony record before age 21." (Also after age 21, but I don't want to be over-ambitious.)
Yeah, but eventually they’ll have kids and you’ll be a genius. Although likely with dementia before they ‘fess up.
Son F has promised to take care of me when I have dementia.
Define “take care of”. Plus, when you’re in that state, he could promise to give you a million dollars tomorrow every day.
*Define “take care of.”*
Let me live with him and cook and clean. You know, like I do now.
I was going say, "See! You got something right!"