SRDS Update
The original_Optimum.net (Mrs.), our field correspondent on Sudden Russian Death Syndrome (SRDS) files his concluding report as a follow-up on Saturday’s supplement. It is presented here in its entirety as a guess essay:
SRDS—PRIGHOZIN EDITION
Что ж, результаты есть и товарищ Владимир, спасибо всем за ваши предложения...
Thanks to everyone who submitted entries for this patently ridiculous exercise. We are all winners here (and everyone gets a trophy). I am in awe of the thoughtfulness of the responses, but a little scared, too. I am, under separate cover, reaching out to the spouses/significant others of each one of the participants to advise them to a) seek an order of protection and b) Leave a file on their computer that says, “If something happens to me, _______did it.”
For those of you who chose Novichok, I have to say that that is sadly recherche. But the idea of using hemlock, well, you can’t beat the classics. Still the idea of poisoning him at a happy hour on a Belarus hotel roof deck, has a certain appeal. And if there is a pool on the roof deck, well…(Nobody parties like the Belarussians…)
And speaking of appeal, I found it heartwarming that the banana peel received a couple of votes---you can’t beat the Marx Brothers (Karl, and the other 3.)
Someone (and you know who you are) referenced the game, CLUE. As it turns out it was NOT Col. Mustard but Miss Melba Peach. Yevgeny has always had a thing for her considerable charms.
Two of the most creative were Landshark (you’re dating yourself there) and Zucchini, which a contestant submitted as a second choice to death by handgun. (Sorry. Choose one.)
As for time frame, we have quite the range from the next few weeks to 10 years (Seriously? Who on earth will remember him in 10 years?) But two bold gamers predicted that Prigozhin will not meet an untimely demise, either because he’s a good insurance policy for Vlad, or that Vlad will not want to make him a martyr. To which I say to those two: Are you Putin us on?
Ouch! But we’re confident the relevant restraining orders are being filed as these words are typed.
I was a hero today. We have a meeting at the the Lapanto metro stop at 2:30pm. I arrive at 2:28. That is early for me, but I didn’t see anyone using WhatsApp, I asked if we were meeting above ground or below ground. “Outside”. Then one of our hosts saw me and waved at me, so I went over and sat by her. We sat in the hot, hot sun for five minutes, and no one was there. 😳 I wonder if the rapture had happened, and I had got left behind, but I saw a random pedestrians on the street, some of them could not have been all bad.
I excused myself, then crossed the street, where 25 students and 1 faculty seemed confused. I explained the host was sitting across the street, wondering where we were. Everyone crossed and we got our business done. 🤠
On my third day off and feeling better ( mentally/emotionally at least, physical still in flux) already, will not like having to go back on Wed, I need a real vacation, but, need more money to do that...lol