Pro Sports Equipment

Monday, January 13, 2025

Pro Sports Equipment

It’s just a table tennis paddle, right? Wrong. It’s an instrument. I’ve got a couple games lined up for tonight, so I went to the sports store to pick up a paddle. In the manner of Chinese retail, all commodities are organized geographically. Entire streets with nothing but sports equipment and apparel. I enter the table tennis emporium and my jaw drops. Little did I know..

There are over 200 base models, ranging from 89 yuan up to about 1750 yuan (under $15 to over $300), including a Japanese model (approximately $500) with a cork handle that one shapes to their specific requirements. Two-ply, three-ply, five-ply, seven-ply, carbon fiber sandwiches and overlays, end grain balsa cores, vertical end grain overlays, multiple weights, actions, handle lengths. I started over at the left side oof the store with the $15 models, but was quickly oriented by my salesperson to the right side where the real gear is located in order that I might achieve the level of accomplishment that I might otherwise not achieve should I play with an inferior paddle.

After I choose the base paddle, there are over 50 different rubber overlays with names like “Flare Storm, Flex Track, Fast Cross, and PALIO” (People Always Love it Only). I settled on the “Hurricane”, developed and endorsed by Liu Guozheng (Chinese Men’s Champ in the early aughts) for players “who mainly adopt control method or have relatively weak attack power when playing with a 40mm ball”. The “rubber reduces a feeling of ponderousness when you strengthen power and create a long arc, which benefits the ball control and exerts fast attack and loop drive at near tables” says the translation. The rubber has “acerbity and glutinosity for power control loop, the pimple in design”…(?)

After considering options and making choices, the salesperson fabricates the parts in a special press, while I wonder how it got this way. While waiting, I am directed to clothing, shoes, après-pong accessories. One could feel the disappointment of staff when I declined modeling a brilliant lime green jacket that Liu Guozheng himself wears.

They toss in a carrying case for the paddle, and I’m out the door for only a 300 yuan investment (about $45). I’m almost embarrassed to show up at the arena; it’s like the duffer with the $1000 Taylor Made driver and $400 Ping putter.

But, as I exit the store, my step is lighter, faster, I feel capable of greatness. Reviewing the instructions for maintenance and care, there are the usual admonishments about keeping the rubber away from heat, solvents, etc. The last line was the best, achieving perfect translative effect:

“You better not smell or taste the rubber products”.

With the new paddle, I enter the arena (50-plus Olympic grade tables), pick up a game, and discover all my previous opponents have been taking it easy on me. I’m making shots, but as I get better, the opponents up their game to reveal they’ve been sandbagging, being polite so as not to embarrass the foreigner.

Some of the folks are amazing. They serve in wild loops and curveballs, and I can’t even get the paddle to contact the ball. It’s culture. Everyone plays, everyone has had lessons from elementary school. Age is immaterial. Eighty-year-old men in pants pulled up to their diaphragm make moves with the grace of Nureyev. Diminutive retired old folks can drive the ball down my throat.

I am reduced to novice status. Hustling is a ways off. Practice is the only way up and out. I’m told I must go back to the store and get practice equipment. Apparently, accessorizing is the path to greatness. I begin…