Quicksand safety
Since it’s important for all our subscribers to remain healthy and safe, today we have another safety tip. As safety-conscious readers, hopefully you will have strapped on the OSHA approved safety harness and donned your personal floatation devices by now. Because this time, we have some helpful tips on what to do if you find yourself caught in quicksand.
As any Gen Xer with a strong background in 80s-ish syndicated TV consumption knows, quicksand lurks practically everywhere, and it’s a devilishly difficult substance to get free of. In most cases, it happens to be watery. Yet unfortunately, it drags its unwitting victims down to an unimaginable abyss—and always just when it seemed some major conflict was about to be resolved in the plot. And it is always just at that moment when the main characters are learning to work together (even the ones who cannot get along, or are murderously inclined towards one another) for a happy ending before the episode’s heart-warming concluding scene.
At any rate, if you find yourself haplessly sucked into a quicksand morass, it important to keep the following safety tips in mind:
Don’t panic (wait…that’s stolen from the Hitchhiker’s Guide, no?)
Look around for a rope, vine, piece of loose clothing, strapping young male protagonist, etc. to grab onto to pull yourself out.
Should step 2. prove infeasible, remember not to flail about and churn the quicksand—it just sucks you into itself more quickly.
Avoid trying to stand up. Since it’s mostly watery, if try lying on your back you can probably survive indefinitely by floating.
Find some constructive way to avert this plot device so as to free your script writers from this hokey cliché in your narrative before it becomes inevitable.
And for brevity’s sake, here is a cautionary video on the perils one might expect when encountering Hollywood-style quicksand in real life.
That video had everything but the quick-chen sink!
Hi
DougCLE told me to take some time and update my baby status when i get a chance. Baby JDM was born 4 lbs 14 ozs at 653am on Dec 28th vía scheduled C-section. She had some issues with oxygenating and managing her temperature on that first day but she’s done great since. Only lost 4% body weight. Eating well. Doctors said if it was just her we’d be discharged today.
I’m not doing as great. I spent a lot of time worried she’d need the NICU. Apparently i should have worried about me. Developed severe preeclampsia, magnesium toxicity and acute renal failure. I’d appreciate prayers.
Thanks.