CSLF Safety Tip
Today, in an initial, hopefully semi-irregular effort to promote subscriber health and safety, we offer this brief safety-/-slash-survival tip. Today: how to survive a piranha attack.
To begin with, it is worth noting that not all 30 to 60 species of fish in the piranha family are carnivorous. According to the internet, most are actually omnivores. But, true to their reputation, these fish do, in fact, call the various rivers of South America’s Amazon Basin home. They are adapted to the common food sources in their particular waterways.
Thus, the first tip in today’s survival guide would have to be to recommend that subscribers avoid swimming in the waterways of the Amazon Basin.
But if you do find yourself in the region, unable to refrain from having a splash in a natural body of water, consider that piranhas don’t typically have row upon row of vicious, flesh-rending teeth. This is contrary to popular myth. Most of them are too specialized on other sources of food—including plant matter and carrion—to want to have a go at a lumbering primate, floundering inelegantly in its habitat. Beautiful as you may be, they really aren’t that into you. Yet it is probably a good idea not to splash around excessively so as to draw attention to yourself.
Should you have failed to heed the safety advice presented so far, you can minimize your attractiveness to the fish by not getting into their waters with any fresh, open wounds. The carnivorous types of piranhas are attracted to the scent of blood or protein in the water. So it is also important to refrain from taking any fresh meats into the water with you when you go for a dive. Furthermore, stay out of any waters where there are fisher(wo)men nearby attempting to bait carnivorous piranhas with bloody morsels of flesh.
Finally, to improve your chances of coming out of the Amazon Basin waterway unscathed, try not to get into stagnant, detached bodies of water that have been left isolated in the dry period after the tropical rainy season has passed. The isolated fish may be especially hungry and eager to munch indiscriminately on just about anything that might come along.
To recap:
1) Refrain from getting into open waters of the Amazon Basin known to contain the omnivorous type of piranhas.
2) If you do enter such waters, don’t go in with open wounds or any butcher shop purchases.
3) Once you’ve determined that you’ve failed the preceding tips, calmly attempt to exit the dangerous waters, and inform others of the danger once you’ve found safety.
Otherwise, so as to end on a happier note, here’s a concluding word from our expert guide:
It’s important to know that people in the Amazon live in relative peace with piranha on a daily basis. They eat them (again, delicious), swim in the river with them, and use their teeth as powerful cutting instruments in a part of the world that doesn’t have many stones or other natural products for cutting.
Yum!
Do you have any tips for doing business with Amazon? I may not be sending Christmas cards out this year, or ordering from them again. I even had to give them an ultimatum. We'll see if it did any good.
Morning has Broken...( hours ago, not even sure I was up then...lol...insomnia issues last night...lol)
So good day to everyone
Got most of the stuff I needed done ( with some frustrating hand issues and some breakage...sigh) done I needed to do over the week end...except my cards, brought them to work...