Don't Say Baloney

Monday, July 14, 2025

Don’t Say Baloney

I know many of you expect me to make a joke about Baloney with this report, but I’ll refrain. The Italian word for Bologna is not B’loney, but rather Mortadella. Locals say it is “an acquired taste”. I tried it, it was okay. Prosciutto ham on melon, OTOH, is delicious.

We took students to Bologna on Saturday. Students loved Florence (aka Firenza). We told them to get to bed early, which was a mistake, because many didn’t make it back to the hotel until near sunrise. Which is technically early. We were walking to the train station (about 15 minutes), leaving at 8:15. By 8 a.m., only 13 of the 27 students had made it downstairs (I was there at 7:50). Several just grabbed a croissant to eat on the way to the train station. We had a nice breakfast buffet; I got some scrambled eggs, some hams, cucumbers, watermelon slices for breakfast. Three students were not there by 8:15; at 8:14 we texted them. They came rushing downstairs, and didn’t have time to grab any breakfast. We got to our train on time, found our seats (they were inside a rail car), whereupon over a dozen students fell asleep.

One of my students is a polymath, self taught on piano and guitar, and can play very well. The train station had a piano, so before we boarded he began playing Billy Joel’s “She’s always a woman to me”. I sang along, several students smiled, thinking it was charming. I asked for help to hit the high notes, several did. When we finished dozens of people applauded. I should have set my hat out for donations. I used to sing that song to Christy, she found it charming too.

Bologna is about 45 minutes-ish from Firenze. I think we calculated the average speed at 114 mph, so not a high speed train, but a faster-than-US one. Bologna has about 390,000 residents, plus many homeless, plus about 19,000 college students. They fancy themselves progressives, whatever. The city was founded by the Etruscans, who liked mountain springs (Bologna is in the foothills). The Romans laid out the city, so it is mostly on a grid, with numerous piazzas.

Did you know Bologna has a canal? It even has ducks on it, but no Gondoliers. Venice is famous for its canals, but not so much Bologna. Back in medieval times the prostitutes set up shop on the upper floors of buildings by the city gate. They were known as geese because they quacked at potential patrons, to get them to come up. Adds a whole new meaning to the game “duck duck goose”.

Canal in Bologna. Photo by Jay Janney

Bologna prostitutes were quackers, not Quakers. Photo by Jay Janney

Did you know Bologna has two leaning towers?

A less famous leaning tower in Bologna. Photo by Jay Janney

Each is over 100’ tall, with more tilt than that one in Pisa. So why do all the tourists go to Pisa? It’s better known for its tower. Bologna seems to get overlooked on many things. In a typical 5 story building the first floor is given over to business, the family lives on 2-3 floors, and the kitchen is on the top floor. If there is a fire in the kitchen, they say this is safer. The towers have no practical purpose, but were built to display owner wealth. Conspicuous consumption, they were built in 1109-1119. Jeff Bezos would feel comfortable here.

We walked to the city center piazza. The marketplace street leading to it was awesome, and felt very middle ages.

A bakery in Bologna. Photo by Jay Janney

There are shops with tiny domed roofs that I would struggle to stand up tall in, selling stuff. And bakeries out the wazoo! Mmmmmm, it smelled wonderful. There is a giant screen set up in the piazza, with several hundred chairs. During the summer they show free movies. It is there way of socializing and having fun.

The Bologna Piazza. Photo by Jay Janney

They have a newer statue of Poseidon/Neptune, where he is fully nude. The maidens surrounding him look tacky, as little fountains spray from the maiden’s breasts. I decided not to include a photo of it. But that also had the only nasone I saw in Balogna. I filled my water bottle. Street vendors were out hawking goods, street performers were paying, but not as well as we did that morning, it was fairly crowded.

So what foods do you associate with Bologna? Mortadella (a form of baloney, although saying that will cause Italian eye rolls), tagliatelle and tortellini pasta, lasagna al ragu, and green lasagna. Prosciutto ham and Parmagiano (basically parmesan cheese, but saying that will engender another eyeroll). I tried a slice of pizza with mortadella, and some sausages on it, it was alright. Not my favorite, but good. Prosciutto e Melon is delicious!

The University of Bologna began in the 1088, the oldest in Italy. The guide mentioned women were not allowed to teach back then, and 8 of my female students said “Womp, womp!”, surprising the guide. The first female graduate was Bettisia Gozzadini in 1237, with a law degree. Laura Bassi was the first woman to teach there, in 1732. She spoke 11 languages and had 11 children; CynthiaW, you may have to adopt to top that!

San Patronio chappel. Photo by Jay Janney

We told students we would visit the San Patronio cathedral today, but 5 of the females wore spaghetti-top blouses (showing too much skin for a cathedral). Five got offended when they were denied admission (2 brought a shawl with them and were admitted). They felt UD should pay the 2 euros for the shawl they had to buy to wear about their shoulders. We did not. The chapel is ugly on the outside, beautiful on the inside. It has 22 chapels on the inside. They were privately funded, and very ornate. There is a “meridian window”, and today it would hit a mark on the floor at 1:10 p.m. I learned back in the middle ages, the day officially began with sunrise, and the day ended with sunset. So if you were born after 9 p.m. today, you are actually born tomorrow. IDK how they handle solar eclipses.

All in all a good day.