Happy Boxing Day, everybody. Since I'm posting much later than I had intended, I may refer to this one tomorrow. Today I am also referring you back to yesterday's thread, where I just posted an account of my Christmas Day and some thoughts on the Bob Dylan movie we saw.
Today was the day after Christmas, but it's become my own personal tradition that Christmas ain't over until I've observed Boxing Day. Yes, I know this is only Day 2 of 12, the one with two birds--nothing much happens on most the rest of them. But December 26 is supposed to be about something; to me it's a good example of a Chesterton fence. "Good King Wenceslaus" elaborates on this, and in A Christmas Carol it's the day Scrooge shocks Cratchit by giving him a raise and saying please put some more coal on that fire.. I think it's helpful to have an institution connected to Christmas that sort of solidifies the idea of generosity to the less fortunate and our obligation to uphold humane social values. The point isn't the amount of dollars or the specific charities, it's to make a choice and share some of your substance.
(I also observed another Chesterton fence by watching the king's Christmas speech and its accompanying video, with error-free captions offered in the King's English, of course. It's available in several places on YouTube. I kind of wish we Americans had somebody whose job it was to personify and represent the nation at its best and articulate values of service, inclusiveness, appreciation, and even Christian ethics--he's allowed to do that. Imagine if we had such a person and all the family members went around all the time giving awards to people who really earned them and calling attention to good causes while staying away from politics.)
Anyway, within the past week or so I was having an exchange on one of these threads about how a certain pre-Columbian civilization would drink hot chocolate at their ceremonies of human sacrifice. And while I generally endorse framing that sort of thing as "That was then, and they didn't know any better," I also felt that I wanted to make a gesture, to do what I could to re-associate the drinking of hot chocolate with the exact opposite of cruelty: compassion. Because now, we do know better and should say so. So I declared that I would be drinking some hot chocolate while writing out my charity checks. And I did so this morning, before taking the envelopes to the post office to mail. So as far as I am concerned that is now part of my Christmas tradition, and I invite anyone who enjoys hot chocolate and values compassion to do the same if they feel like it.
Good on you, C C. My wife and I are - and have been for a while - of an age that there's not much point in traditional Christmas gifts since there is pretty much nothing either of us really wants or needs. So, for some years now we've donated to each other's charities as our Christmas gifts to each other, which involves an exchange of Christmas cards with a few appropriately made out checks in each. Maybe next year I'll try incorporating hot chocolate into the mix.
Afternoon, animal friends! Beau made it home to his cat. He forgot his present, so I'll have to mail it to him. Attention to detail is not his strong point.
Sheldon said the mechanic told him there's nothing wrong with his car that they can figure out, which is nice in that he doesn't have to pay for a repair, but bad in that the next time it doesn't start for "no reason," he'll have to go through this again.
My husband and I went to Lowe's and got a new floor mat for in front of the kitchen sink. It wasn't marked down. The old one had worn out.
It's almost 11:30 and I finally feel like I can join the living. I sat on the couch watching "Into the Fire" on Netflix before the ibuprofen finally kicked in. Highly recommend the true crime story, it's cRaZy!! Not as crazy as the "Telepathy Tapes" though.
Good morning from NYC. Great gathering yesterday into last night. Today we are going to just roam Manhattan; Sandra grew up in Queens so she knows her way around. Will avoid the area around Rockefeller Center; we went 2 years ago and it was just too crowded. The Saks Fifth Ave store windows will also attract big crowds; they actually have rope lines set up. We'll wander north to Bergdorf's and into Central Park. Our train back north isn't till late afternoon.
If ya see a blonde curly haired gal with a family of Egpytians, walk up to her and say "your mom says HI!" Then take a gander at the cute baby, well, there will be two babies because the SIL has a baby too.
This. Statistically, the crime rate is higher in the least dense population areas. Of course, it’s also possible there’s some statistical artifacts based on propensity to report crimes, too…
I posted last night, saying I'd repost this morning.
Part 1of Pam and her sewing machine Christmas present
I hate shopping for Christmas, as I never know what to buy. I agonize, and all my insecurities come out. When I had young nieces and nephews, I sucked at buying gifts. One year I bought Jesse and Jenny a snow cone maker, not knowing the decibel levels on it approached those of a jet aircraft. My sister Karen forgave me (she’s a saint), her husband Carl, IDK. I think it is one reason why I hate getting gifts, guilt over all the poor gifts I bought.
But this year I had it made! I knew what to get Pam! Oh, I didn’t know where to buy it, or what brand/model to buy, but I knew what to get. I wanted her to have a new sewing machine. Pam had shared how she had a hand-me-down, but sometimes Janet let her use her new one. She didn’t complain, she accepted what she had. That was so Pam, never complain about what she didn’t have. That’s what made buying a new one a wonderful present! So late October, I visited Janet with Pam gone, telling her my plan. She lit up with a big smile. Buying a girl a sewing machine might not seem romantic, but to someone who loves to sew, you can’t go wrong (later I did the same with Katie). I confessed to Janet I knew nothing about sewing machines. I wanted to buy a good one, not junk, but something she could use, and would love to own. Janet smiled, agreeing to taking me shopping. Pam wondered why her Mom was so happy about me that day. I had humbled myself to her Mom, she knew I wanted this to be a good gift.
On a Friday afternoon (I had the day off) I drove in to see Janet. We drove to a mall, to Sears, but Janet told me this was just an educational stop. There, Janet showed me many different types of machines. She recommended an entry level machine, but a really good entry level. The latest had computers, she wasn’t a fan of those yet. But there were too many cheap, poorly made ones out there, she wanted to avoid those. So I received a good education from Janet. We then went to one of her favorite fabric stores where she bought some fabric. She then spoke to the sales person, who came over to greet me. She explained several models, including models at Sears but not there. I knew it meant Janet felt those were the junk machines. The sales lady recommended two up from the bottom. A Singer, it still had metal mechanical parts, not plastic. It could do a dozen different stitches by pushing a button. Janet explained how that came in handy for things like buttonholes. I asked the sales person if I could have a minute with Janet, so she graciously stepped out.
“Janet, I’m buying a sewing machine. Which one will make you happy for Pam? Janet asked to look at one more, but said she approved of the last one shown me. She called over the sales lady, asking to see one more machine. I am embarrassed now; I bought it but I don’t remember what function it had the other didn’t. The price was about $350, which was within range. I asked Janet: “you’re pleased she’s getting this?”, and Janet beamed. The sales lady smiled too, realizing I didn’t care what I bought, I wanted to show my love by buying a quality sewing machine. She chimed in reassuringly “This is a great first machine. She’ll use it for years. If she gets ambitious, she’ll learn what extras she wants. But she’s not ready for that next machine now. This is the one that will allow her to learn, to grow, and master sewing. It’s what I’d buy for my daughter”. Janet nodded again, so I bought it, plus a 3 year warranty.
When we got to the car I took her home. I asked Janet to store it for me, and to help me wrap it come Christmas. I explained I learned gift wrapping from my dad, who used grocery bags with staplers, and she laughed. She promised she’d wrap it beautifully. She thanked me, telling me Pam would appreciate such a thoughtful gift. She’d also help Pam by showing her some sewing functions. She recommended I buy some fabric, writing down some stuff to buy. I went back to the fabric store, bought some fabric, then I bought Pam a gift card for patterns and more fabric. I bought a second gift card for Janet, plus 2 fat quarters the salesperson said Janet would like.
Come Christmas morning, the big day, I went over to their house. Pam made pancakes, sausages, and scrambled eggs for breakfast. I helped her in the kitchen, finding many a mistletoe hovering over her head, causing her to laugh. Okay, it was probably just a piece of broccoli, but it worked. Jenni got up, but Doug and Angi would be over late, they were doing Christmas early with his family. Finally it was time to unwrap presents. Pam got me a green Tigger sweater, I cheerfully pulled it on. She also got me a book and a CD. She was stressed, because I had my own home, I didn’t really need anything. I was hard to buy for. I kissed her gently, thanking her for lovely presents. I had found a book for her, a devotional by Stormie Omartian. She smiled, liking it. It was a thoughtful gift. But she looked down at a big box near her, unsure what it was. She had no clue what it was, perfect! I love surprises! I grinned, telling her it was to her from me, but Janet helped me buy it. Pam had a puzzled look on her face (she later confirmed she had no clue what it was). She carefully unwrapped it, looking at the sewing machine box and…and….and….nothing. She stared at it for a minute, then quietly thanked me.
I felt deflated. I had failed again, doggone it! She was polite, she was kind, but no enthusiasm, no excited scream. I had failed, and I felt bad. I told myself at least she knew I wasn’t cheap about it, or hadn’t thought about it. I knew she’d at least give me credit for trying. Everyone else finished opening up their presents. We hung out, listening to music on the stereo, then watched some TV. We ate lunch, then I drove Pam to Muncie to visit my folks. She had baked bread and cookies for them. She worried it wouldn’t be enough. I grinned at her. “My Dad loves cookies! He’ll be happy”. She looked worried. “Mom likes you, she thinks you’re too old for me, but she forgets I’m not 12 anymore”, causing her to nervously smile. I told her my family loved her. I reminded her how at Thanksgiving Karen lied about the bread Pam had brought, so she didn’t have to share it with her kids, and Karen was a saint. Pam looked down, embarrassed.
Christmas with my folks went fine. Dad loved the cookies, grabbing one before Mom could take the plate from him, Dad winking at Pam with a smile. She relaxed with my Dad, he was so good natured, she knew she had his approval. If I was happy, he was happy. Mom talked about grandkids, and Pam listened, nodding sweetly. Eventually Jeff came over with Matt, who ran like a madman about the house, and Mom yelled at him, loving the sound of kid chaos. Carl and Karen dropped by for 30-45 minutes, but Carl didn’t like Mom (it was mutual), so he looked for an excuse to quickly skedaddle.
Eventually I drove Pam back directly home, but she first had me park at Walnut Ridge. We walked through the cemetery, she showed me some more headstones of family. She seemed wistful. I took her in my arms, simply holding her. I asked her what was wrong but she said nothing. She told me she wanted the day to be better for me than it had. I told her it had been a great day, I got to spend it with her. I kissed her, telling her that was the best present she could give me. For now. After the wedding, the 2nd best gift, causing her to grin. I recited the vows I had written for her again, and she had tears of joy in her eyes, as before.
In a few different years of my marriage to Katie, some major appliance needed replaced about the time of her birthday. She views that as a birthday present, provided I don't spend too long studying the issue.
All year long I try to pay attention to what the family wants, and I look to buy it when I can. For Katie, it can appear frustrating because I can be in and out in five minutes, but it's really a months long search, with a very quick wrap-up...
Pam had to work the next day, so I stopped by Montgomery Wards to visit her. She was frantic helping customers, but having fun at the same time. When it was break time we walked to the food court. We ate, and she told me she looked forward to tomorrow, she and Janet would do some work together. I kinda got the hint I needed to take the day off, so I did.
Come Sunday, she showed up at my house early, and we walked to Irvington Friends, it wasn’t too cold yet. Before she left, she seemed nervous, asking me to wear a sweater. I wasn’t sure why, but she handed me my last Christmas gift. I opened it; a blue Animaniacs tie! A hand sewn tie! She had sewn it on her new machine. She told me Janet helped her a lot learning all the functions, she still had a lot to learn, but using a pattern Janet had, she made me a tie. I grinned, telling her I’d wear it to meeting, and to work the next day.
At meeting I showed the tie to our pastor, Phil Gulley, he grinned in approval. I think he understood my ties were going to be much more fun in the future. I showed it to Oneida Davis, who called her husband Ray over to admire it. She told Pam it was charming, highlighting my eyes, causing me to blush. She told Pam she must be very talented to sew ties, she never could quite get them right. Pam looked down, but thanked her for the compliment.
After meeting we grabbed some lunch at the mall, then walked back to the house. I asked her about the sewing machine, was it what she wanted? Her eyes got big: she seemed confused. I told her when she didn’t react to it I feared I bought her something she didn’t want. But I tried, I took Janet with me, I; then Pam jumped into my lap with a hug and a tear rolling down her face. “I love it. I was just so overwhelmed, it’s such a big gift, such a nice gift, I didn’t expect anything so big”. She paused, “I didn’t do anything nice for you. I didn’t know what to buy you, I looked for months, but you’re so hard to buy for”. I held her for a few minutes, as she said nothing, finally she let out a sigh. “my sweet little boy surprised me”.
She quietly added “I didn’t feel I deserved a sewing machine”. I held her without talking for a few minutes, then quietly I told her “You deserved it. You mentioned you had a hand me down machine, you weren’t complaining, but I wanted you to have one you could call your own”. Pam had more tears fall. “Thank you for loving me. But don’t feel you have to top it next year”. I told her I didn’t try to spend X dollars, high or low, but rather I listened and looked for a gift that said “I paid attention”, and she smiled. We kissed, but I didn’t get heated up. I was the one who kept it under control. I knew in moments such as this, she wanted comfort, not affection. That meant not having her worry about the stove’s burner setting for her little teapot. When she finally drove home, she left happy, content, and feeling loved. I got it right, this time.
Pam turned into a seamstress. She got her money’s worth out of that machine. She made me half a dozen ties. She made outfits for Chris. She made my infamous cowmoflauge outfits. She even made the infamous corn cob bunting for newborns. I still have it, ready to give it to Chris someday.
More importantly, Pam gained some confidence in herself. The machine had many functions. Janet paid for her to go to a class at the fabric store. The store owner showed her many tricks, many tips, and encouraged her to experiment.
For the first year of marriage, she kept the machine at Janet’s, visiting to work all day 1-2x a week. Janet helped her learn subtle things. And later Janet confessed she liked Pam‘s machine more than her own, and took to using it on the days Pam wasn’t coming over. Bob grumbled good naturedly he’d now have to buy a new one for Janet, which he eventually did, years later. When Katie and I got married, once Janet learned Katie liked sewing, she gave her Pam’s machine and some lessons on using it. Katie quickly outgrew it, allowing me to buy the really nice machine she has now, the Husqvarna.
For our 24th anniversary I bought 4 cardinal barn quilt signs, gluing them to our garage door, to make a giant barn quilt for Katie (she loves it). I hosted a family get together (Katie had to work Memorial day and Mother’s day), where I told people they’d get to see Katie’s quilting gift. Bob texted me, warning me he’d never speak to me again if I bought her what he didn’t want me to buy her. Turns out he was terrified I had bought her a long arm quilting machine, and then he’d have to buy one for Janet as well.
With more confidence, something else happened. Pam began to see opportunities, began expressing herself more through her outfits. Pam began shopping more thrift stores and consignment shops, tearing apart a dress then remaking it in her own style, adding something special to it. She loved the idea of reworking something in order to make it new again. If she found a piece of fabric, she’d work it into a skirt, or a blouse. Her confidence grew and grew. It was such a joy seeing her blossom. She told me she daydreamed of when she had kids and could make them dozens of outfits to wear, of her design. Her closet was stocked with clothes she bought dirt cheap, but she loved sewing on them. She did it while I was at work, so she was free to be with me after work. She made gifts for family, they appreciated the thoughtfulness. It was one of the best Christmas gifts I ever bought. Sometimes I get it right. Why not? In a bountiful forest, even blind squirrels can find some nuts every now and then.
I bought Daughter B a sewing machine when she moved to Oregon. I hope she'll go to a class and learn how to use it. She wants to consume less from the apparel industry.
The classes are very valuable, they help build your confidence. It's easy to get frustrated and abandon it. But learning little tricks can encourage them.
45F. About 60F warmer than December 26, 1977. Where after marrying and starting a new job, moving from Delaware to Massachusetts in November, moved into our new 125 yr old house; Woman cat had 4 babies.
Moma Cat, aka Contess Biancous Moonface, was my wife's Himalayan. Bred to Flame Boy of the same type, 3 girls and a boy Himmy came.
The boy, a chocolate style was Attila the Hun.
The girls were Moofy, Melody and Winston aka WinBoy of course.
I had to wear double jeans sitting in the old Adirondack chair that still views me 8ft from here. The younger loved to jump and climb up my jeans playing.
That green enameled bas Relief Jotul was keeping the old country kitchen warm. Soup and coffee steaming. Stoking the stove. My 1975 RCA color TV. The antenna rotor to swing between Albany and Hartford and Springfield stations.
My father in law, born in 1914 in small cave like structure in mid New Jersey out by Lebanon Valley was 1st generation Polish American. His parents had scrapped across Poland to Germany, fleeing the sword wielding Russian Cosacks.
Of note is the time he came up from Jersey to visit. He tolerated our cats. But such in his day were not allowed inside. One day a 🐁 decides again, to sprint across the floor.
Bruno looks at the cats. Cats look back. He laughed. Doug!! You have mice!! Get a cat!!! 🤣🤣🤣. Totally haha. From a guy that grew up country, depression, fought the Japanese on 2 Pacific islands. He and I shared amateur astronomy love. He was a self taught guy. Built the most optically precise (1/20th wave) Newtonian in Jersey. Princeton physics Profs would come by and look at planets, galaxies and nebula. It was the largest scope in Jersey then.
So the cats, back to them! So for a few years, the Kitties just watched the mice.
Enter our first dog. Thangka. A highly trained Rottweiler.
Day 1. Mama Cat Moonface faces new boy Rotty. Sits up on her hind legs. And hauls off and snacks her paw right in his nose. It is therefore established that Momma Cat is #1 Boss.
Maybe a week later.
Dog sees mouse running across floor in front of him. Looks at the 4 baby cats... hey! What's up? Mouse alert!
Cats yawn. Dog irritated.
Next day. Mouse makes usual milk run across floor.
Thangka pounces, paws the mouse. Trapped! I retrieve one Mouse alive and deposit outside.
Cats eyes open. Dog catches 2nd Mouse. Cats are stirred. Game plan is concocted.
Next day. 4 kitties figure out how to hunt like a pack. One flushes the mouse that runs into the Cat 2 that turns the mouse at the corner towards Cat 3 that turns the running mouse towards cat 4 that forces mouse up vertical steam pipe for the radiator.
A great story. We "catch and release" as many as we can at our house, but some don't, ummm, survive the process. If I can get them into a bucket I walk to the edge of the woods, flinging the bucket's contents high in the air, as they soar down the hill. I figure it'll take them at least 20 minutes to return to the house!
Morning. We’re hosting cats for a friend. Their night shift has ended now and they’ve gone off for some extensive cat napping. Not the friends, the cats.
2 years ago, the children's Godparents informed me that I was their estate's executor. When they moved to the Isle of Man, the last of their cats were gone, they say they don't intend to get new ones. So it appears I don't need to find homes for cats, thank goodness.
Their second home was built in 1865, with pine floors. One knot hole had come out, and if you stuck your finger through the hole and wiggle it, a feral cat would often paw at it. We taught my oldest son to do that, he loved visiting them just for that reason! 😀
Happy Boxing Day, everybody. Since I'm posting much later than I had intended, I may refer to this one tomorrow. Today I am also referring you back to yesterday's thread, where I just posted an account of my Christmas Day and some thoughts on the Bob Dylan movie we saw.
Today was the day after Christmas, but it's become my own personal tradition that Christmas ain't over until I've observed Boxing Day. Yes, I know this is only Day 2 of 12, the one with two birds--nothing much happens on most the rest of them. But December 26 is supposed to be about something; to me it's a good example of a Chesterton fence. "Good King Wenceslaus" elaborates on this, and in A Christmas Carol it's the day Scrooge shocks Cratchit by giving him a raise and saying please put some more coal on that fire.. I think it's helpful to have an institution connected to Christmas that sort of solidifies the idea of generosity to the less fortunate and our obligation to uphold humane social values. The point isn't the amount of dollars or the specific charities, it's to make a choice and share some of your substance.
(I also observed another Chesterton fence by watching the king's Christmas speech and its accompanying video, with error-free captions offered in the King's English, of course. It's available in several places on YouTube. I kind of wish we Americans had somebody whose job it was to personify and represent the nation at its best and articulate values of service, inclusiveness, appreciation, and even Christian ethics--he's allowed to do that. Imagine if we had such a person and all the family members went around all the time giving awards to people who really earned them and calling attention to good causes while staying away from politics.)
Anyway, within the past week or so I was having an exchange on one of these threads about how a certain pre-Columbian civilization would drink hot chocolate at their ceremonies of human sacrifice. And while I generally endorse framing that sort of thing as "That was then, and they didn't know any better," I also felt that I wanted to make a gesture, to do what I could to re-associate the drinking of hot chocolate with the exact opposite of cruelty: compassion. Because now, we do know better and should say so. So I declared that I would be drinking some hot chocolate while writing out my charity checks. And I did so this morning, before taking the envelopes to the post office to mail. So as far as I am concerned that is now part of my Christmas tradition, and I invite anyone who enjoys hot chocolate and values compassion to do the same if they feel like it.
Good on you, C C. My wife and I are - and have been for a while - of an age that there's not much point in traditional Christmas gifts since there is pretty much nothing either of us really wants or needs. So, for some years now we've donated to each other's charities as our Christmas gifts to each other, which involves an exchange of Christmas cards with a few appropriately made out checks in each. Maybe next year I'll try incorporating hot chocolate into the mix.
Afternoon, animal friends! Beau made it home to his cat. He forgot his present, so I'll have to mail it to him. Attention to detail is not his strong point.
Sheldon said the mechanic told him there's nothing wrong with his car that they can figure out, which is nice in that he doesn't have to pay for a repair, but bad in that the next time it doesn't start for "no reason," he'll have to go through this again.
My husband and I went to Lowe's and got a new floor mat for in front of the kitchen sink. It wasn't marked down. The old one had worn out.
It's almost 11:30 and I finally feel like I can join the living. I sat on the couch watching "Into the Fire" on Netflix before the ibuprofen finally kicked in. Highly recommend the true crime story, it's cRaZy!! Not as crazy as the "Telepathy Tapes" though.
Every time I hear the word "talons." https://youtu.be/RAtoMSjOQ1A?feature=shared
Good morning from NYC. Great gathering yesterday into last night. Today we are going to just roam Manhattan; Sandra grew up in Queens so she knows her way around. Will avoid the area around Rockefeller Center; we went 2 years ago and it was just too crowded. The Saks Fifth Ave store windows will also attract big crowds; they actually have rope lines set up. We'll wander north to Bergdorf's and into Central Park. Our train back north isn't till late afternoon.
If ya see a blonde curly haired gal with a family of Egpytians, walk up to her and say "your mom says HI!" Then take a gander at the cute baby, well, there will be two babies because the SIL has a baby too.
I just ran into them! Wish I had known they were family!😬
lol actually they’re going to the city tomorrow and a tad reluctantly given the stabbing and setting the woman on fire incidents.
See Cynthia’s comments below. They willbe fine.
Well, statistically ...
Beau has lived in Queens for 2-1/2 years now without incident. My mom worries all the time because she watches cable news.
Watch that or read comment sections
Statistically, those things are unlikely to happen to them personally.
This. Statistically, the crime rate is higher in the least dense population areas. Of course, it’s also possible there’s some statistical artifacts based on propensity to report crimes, too…
In spite of statistics, it's still understandable that even a few episodes of random stabbing or immolation would make people uneasy.
If you happen to find yourself near a window in Astoria, not far from a highway overpass, wave to Beau's cat.
I posted last night, saying I'd repost this morning.
Part 1of Pam and her sewing machine Christmas present
I hate shopping for Christmas, as I never know what to buy. I agonize, and all my insecurities come out. When I had young nieces and nephews, I sucked at buying gifts. One year I bought Jesse and Jenny a snow cone maker, not knowing the decibel levels on it approached those of a jet aircraft. My sister Karen forgave me (she’s a saint), her husband Carl, IDK. I think it is one reason why I hate getting gifts, guilt over all the poor gifts I bought.
But this year I had it made! I knew what to get Pam! Oh, I didn’t know where to buy it, or what brand/model to buy, but I knew what to get. I wanted her to have a new sewing machine. Pam had shared how she had a hand-me-down, but sometimes Janet let her use her new one. She didn’t complain, she accepted what she had. That was so Pam, never complain about what she didn’t have. That’s what made buying a new one a wonderful present! So late October, I visited Janet with Pam gone, telling her my plan. She lit up with a big smile. Buying a girl a sewing machine might not seem romantic, but to someone who loves to sew, you can’t go wrong (later I did the same with Katie). I confessed to Janet I knew nothing about sewing machines. I wanted to buy a good one, not junk, but something she could use, and would love to own. Janet smiled, agreeing to taking me shopping. Pam wondered why her Mom was so happy about me that day. I had humbled myself to her Mom, she knew I wanted this to be a good gift.
On a Friday afternoon (I had the day off) I drove in to see Janet. We drove to a mall, to Sears, but Janet told me this was just an educational stop. There, Janet showed me many different types of machines. She recommended an entry level machine, but a really good entry level. The latest had computers, she wasn’t a fan of those yet. But there were too many cheap, poorly made ones out there, she wanted to avoid those. So I received a good education from Janet. We then went to one of her favorite fabric stores where she bought some fabric. She then spoke to the sales person, who came over to greet me. She explained several models, including models at Sears but not there. I knew it meant Janet felt those were the junk machines. The sales lady recommended two up from the bottom. A Singer, it still had metal mechanical parts, not plastic. It could do a dozen different stitches by pushing a button. Janet explained how that came in handy for things like buttonholes. I asked the sales person if I could have a minute with Janet, so she graciously stepped out.
“Janet, I’m buying a sewing machine. Which one will make you happy for Pam? Janet asked to look at one more, but said she approved of the last one shown me. She called over the sales lady, asking to see one more machine. I am embarrassed now; I bought it but I don’t remember what function it had the other didn’t. The price was about $350, which was within range. I asked Janet: “you’re pleased she’s getting this?”, and Janet beamed. The sales lady smiled too, realizing I didn’t care what I bought, I wanted to show my love by buying a quality sewing machine. She chimed in reassuringly “This is a great first machine. She’ll use it for years. If she gets ambitious, she’ll learn what extras she wants. But she’s not ready for that next machine now. This is the one that will allow her to learn, to grow, and master sewing. It’s what I’d buy for my daughter”. Janet nodded again, so I bought it, plus a 3 year warranty.
When we got to the car I took her home. I asked Janet to store it for me, and to help me wrap it come Christmas. I explained I learned gift wrapping from my dad, who used grocery bags with staplers, and she laughed. She promised she’d wrap it beautifully. She thanked me, telling me Pam would appreciate such a thoughtful gift. She’d also help Pam by showing her some sewing functions. She recommended I buy some fabric, writing down some stuff to buy. I went back to the fabric store, bought some fabric, then I bought Pam a gift card for patterns and more fabric. I bought a second gift card for Janet, plus 2 fat quarters the salesperson said Janet would like.
Come Christmas morning, the big day, I went over to their house. Pam made pancakes, sausages, and scrambled eggs for breakfast. I helped her in the kitchen, finding many a mistletoe hovering over her head, causing her to laugh. Okay, it was probably just a piece of broccoli, but it worked. Jenni got up, but Doug and Angi would be over late, they were doing Christmas early with his family. Finally it was time to unwrap presents. Pam got me a green Tigger sweater, I cheerfully pulled it on. She also got me a book and a CD. She was stressed, because I had my own home, I didn’t really need anything. I was hard to buy for. I kissed her gently, thanking her for lovely presents. I had found a book for her, a devotional by Stormie Omartian. She smiled, liking it. It was a thoughtful gift. But she looked down at a big box near her, unsure what it was. She had no clue what it was, perfect! I love surprises! I grinned, telling her it was to her from me, but Janet helped me buy it. Pam had a puzzled look on her face (she later confirmed she had no clue what it was). She carefully unwrapped it, looking at the sewing machine box and…and….and….nothing. She stared at it for a minute, then quietly thanked me.
I felt deflated. I had failed again, doggone it! She was polite, she was kind, but no enthusiasm, no excited scream. I had failed, and I felt bad. I told myself at least she knew I wasn’t cheap about it, or hadn’t thought about it. I knew she’d at least give me credit for trying. Everyone else finished opening up their presents. We hung out, listening to music on the stereo, then watched some TV. We ate lunch, then I drove Pam to Muncie to visit my folks. She had baked bread and cookies for them. She worried it wouldn’t be enough. I grinned at her. “My Dad loves cookies! He’ll be happy”. She looked worried. “Mom likes you, she thinks you’re too old for me, but she forgets I’m not 12 anymore”, causing her to nervously smile. I told her my family loved her. I reminded her how at Thanksgiving Karen lied about the bread Pam had brought, so she didn’t have to share it with her kids, and Karen was a saint. Pam looked down, embarrassed.
Christmas with my folks went fine. Dad loved the cookies, grabbing one before Mom could take the plate from him, Dad winking at Pam with a smile. She relaxed with my Dad, he was so good natured, she knew she had his approval. If I was happy, he was happy. Mom talked about grandkids, and Pam listened, nodding sweetly. Eventually Jeff came over with Matt, who ran like a madman about the house, and Mom yelled at him, loving the sound of kid chaos. Carl and Karen dropped by for 30-45 minutes, but Carl didn’t like Mom (it was mutual), so he looked for an excuse to quickly skedaddle.
Eventually I drove Pam back directly home, but she first had me park at Walnut Ridge. We walked through the cemetery, she showed me some more headstones of family. She seemed wistful. I took her in my arms, simply holding her. I asked her what was wrong but she said nothing. She told me she wanted the day to be better for me than it had. I told her it had been a great day, I got to spend it with her. I kissed her, telling her that was the best present she could give me. For now. After the wedding, the 2nd best gift, causing her to grin. I recited the vows I had written for her again, and she had tears of joy in her eyes, as before.
"Buying a girl a sewing machine might not seem romantic ..."
In my opinion, nothing is more romantic than getting a person something they actually want. It shows that you've paid attention to the person.
I wanted a wheelbarrow last year, but nobody cared, so I bought it for myself. Harrumph.
In a few different years of my marriage to Katie, some major appliance needed replaced about the time of her birthday. She views that as a birthday present, provided I don't spend too long studying the issue.
All year long I try to pay attention to what the family wants, and I look to buy it when I can. For Katie, it can appear frustrating because I can be in and out in five minutes, but it's really a months long search, with a very quick wrap-up...
Lovely. Just lovely.
Part 2
Pam had to work the next day, so I stopped by Montgomery Wards to visit her. She was frantic helping customers, but having fun at the same time. When it was break time we walked to the food court. We ate, and she told me she looked forward to tomorrow, she and Janet would do some work together. I kinda got the hint I needed to take the day off, so I did.
Come Sunday, she showed up at my house early, and we walked to Irvington Friends, it wasn’t too cold yet. Before she left, she seemed nervous, asking me to wear a sweater. I wasn’t sure why, but she handed me my last Christmas gift. I opened it; a blue Animaniacs tie! A hand sewn tie! She had sewn it on her new machine. She told me Janet helped her a lot learning all the functions, she still had a lot to learn, but using a pattern Janet had, she made me a tie. I grinned, telling her I’d wear it to meeting, and to work the next day.
At meeting I showed the tie to our pastor, Phil Gulley, he grinned in approval. I think he understood my ties were going to be much more fun in the future. I showed it to Oneida Davis, who called her husband Ray over to admire it. She told Pam it was charming, highlighting my eyes, causing me to blush. She told Pam she must be very talented to sew ties, she never could quite get them right. Pam looked down, but thanked her for the compliment.
After meeting we grabbed some lunch at the mall, then walked back to the house. I asked her about the sewing machine, was it what she wanted? Her eyes got big: she seemed confused. I told her when she didn’t react to it I feared I bought her something she didn’t want. But I tried, I took Janet with me, I; then Pam jumped into my lap with a hug and a tear rolling down her face. “I love it. I was just so overwhelmed, it’s such a big gift, such a nice gift, I didn’t expect anything so big”. She paused, “I didn’t do anything nice for you. I didn’t know what to buy you, I looked for months, but you’re so hard to buy for”. I held her for a few minutes, as she said nothing, finally she let out a sigh. “my sweet little boy surprised me”.
She quietly added “I didn’t feel I deserved a sewing machine”. I held her without talking for a few minutes, then quietly I told her “You deserved it. You mentioned you had a hand me down machine, you weren’t complaining, but I wanted you to have one you could call your own”. Pam had more tears fall. “Thank you for loving me. But don’t feel you have to top it next year”. I told her I didn’t try to spend X dollars, high or low, but rather I listened and looked for a gift that said “I paid attention”, and she smiled. We kissed, but I didn’t get heated up. I was the one who kept it under control. I knew in moments such as this, she wanted comfort, not affection. That meant not having her worry about the stove’s burner setting for her little teapot. When she finally drove home, she left happy, content, and feeling loved. I got it right, this time.
Part 3
Epilogue
Pam turned into a seamstress. She got her money’s worth out of that machine. She made me half a dozen ties. She made outfits for Chris. She made my infamous cowmoflauge outfits. She even made the infamous corn cob bunting for newborns. I still have it, ready to give it to Chris someday.
More importantly, Pam gained some confidence in herself. The machine had many functions. Janet paid for her to go to a class at the fabric store. The store owner showed her many tricks, many tips, and encouraged her to experiment.
For the first year of marriage, she kept the machine at Janet’s, visiting to work all day 1-2x a week. Janet helped her learn subtle things. And later Janet confessed she liked Pam‘s machine more than her own, and took to using it on the days Pam wasn’t coming over. Bob grumbled good naturedly he’d now have to buy a new one for Janet, which he eventually did, years later. When Katie and I got married, once Janet learned Katie liked sewing, she gave her Pam’s machine and some lessons on using it. Katie quickly outgrew it, allowing me to buy the really nice machine she has now, the Husqvarna.
For our 24th anniversary I bought 4 cardinal barn quilt signs, gluing them to our garage door, to make a giant barn quilt for Katie (she loves it). I hosted a family get together (Katie had to work Memorial day and Mother’s day), where I told people they’d get to see Katie’s quilting gift. Bob texted me, warning me he’d never speak to me again if I bought her what he didn’t want me to buy her. Turns out he was terrified I had bought her a long arm quilting machine, and then he’d have to buy one for Janet as well.
With more confidence, something else happened. Pam began to see opportunities, began expressing herself more through her outfits. Pam began shopping more thrift stores and consignment shops, tearing apart a dress then remaking it in her own style, adding something special to it. She loved the idea of reworking something in order to make it new again. If she found a piece of fabric, she’d work it into a skirt, or a blouse. Her confidence grew and grew. It was such a joy seeing her blossom. She told me she daydreamed of when she had kids and could make them dozens of outfits to wear, of her design. Her closet was stocked with clothes she bought dirt cheap, but she loved sewing on them. She did it while I was at work, so she was free to be with me after work. She made gifts for family, they appreciated the thoughtfulness. It was one of the best Christmas gifts I ever bought. Sometimes I get it right. Why not? In a bountiful forest, even blind squirrels can find some nuts every now and then.
Just beautiful, Jay. Merry Christmas.
I bought Daughter B a sewing machine when she moved to Oregon. I hope she'll go to a class and learn how to use it. She wants to consume less from the apparel industry.
The classes are very valuable, they help build your confidence. It's easy to get frustrated and abandon it. But learning little tricks can encourage them.
45F. About 60F warmer than December 26, 1977. Where after marrying and starting a new job, moving from Delaware to Massachusetts in November, moved into our new 125 yr old house; Woman cat had 4 babies.
Moma Cat, aka Contess Biancous Moonface, was my wife's Himalayan. Bred to Flame Boy of the same type, 3 girls and a boy Himmy came.
The boy, a chocolate style was Attila the Hun.
The girls were Moofy, Melody and Winston aka WinBoy of course.
I had to wear double jeans sitting in the old Adirondack chair that still views me 8ft from here. The younger loved to jump and climb up my jeans playing.
That green enameled bas Relief Jotul was keeping the old country kitchen warm. Soup and coffee steaming. Stoking the stove. My 1975 RCA color TV. The antenna rotor to swing between Albany and Hartford and Springfield stations.
My father in law, born in 1914 in small cave like structure in mid New Jersey out by Lebanon Valley was 1st generation Polish American. His parents had scrapped across Poland to Germany, fleeing the sword wielding Russian Cosacks.
Of note is the time he came up from Jersey to visit. He tolerated our cats. But such in his day were not allowed inside. One day a 🐁 decides again, to sprint across the floor.
Bruno looks at the cats. Cats look back. He laughed. Doug!! You have mice!! Get a cat!!! 🤣🤣🤣. Totally haha. From a guy that grew up country, depression, fought the Japanese on 2 Pacific islands. He and I shared amateur astronomy love. He was a self taught guy. Built the most optically precise (1/20th wave) Newtonian in Jersey. Princeton physics Profs would come by and look at planets, galaxies and nebula. It was the largest scope in Jersey then.
So the cats, back to them! So for a few years, the Kitties just watched the mice.
Enter our first dog. Thangka. A highly trained Rottweiler.
Day 1. Mama Cat Moonface faces new boy Rotty. Sits up on her hind legs. And hauls off and snacks her paw right in his nose. It is therefore established that Momma Cat is #1 Boss.
Maybe a week later.
Dog sees mouse running across floor in front of him. Looks at the 4 baby cats... hey! What's up? Mouse alert!
Cats yawn. Dog irritated.
Next day. Mouse makes usual milk run across floor.
Thangka pounces, paws the mouse. Trapped! I retrieve one Mouse alive and deposit outside.
Cats eyes open. Dog catches 2nd Mouse. Cats are stirred. Game plan is concocted.
Next day. 4 kitties figure out how to hunt like a pack. One flushes the mouse that runs into the Cat 2 that turns the mouse at the corner towards Cat 3 that turns the running mouse towards cat 4 that forces mouse up vertical steam pipe for the radiator.
I retrieve mouse. Deposit outside.
Summary: Dog teaches Cats to hunt mice.
🐕 😼 🐁
Cute!
A great story. We "catch and release" as many as we can at our house, but some don't, ummm, survive the process. If I can get them into a bucket I walk to the edge of the woods, flinging the bucket's contents high in the air, as they soar down the hill. I figure it'll take them at least 20 minutes to return to the house!
Great story!
Good morning! 34Fs here, forecast high of 51. Might rain over night.
Good story!
That is one gnarly looking bird. Now I get what "harpy" means.
Good morning. Here's a brief explanation of the Greek mythology behind the bird's name:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_Q4kGv_C50
I remember reading of harpies...It seemed rather misogynistic to me, but then again, it's not like the old Greeks were really "family friendly"...
Misogyny is baked in the crust with the ancient Greeks.
Good morning, everyone. Placido jueves! No guests, no sign of family, just me and coffee.
So the police haven't found the bodies yet? 🧐
Ummm, asking for a friend, of course.
Morning. We’re hosting cats for a friend. Their night shift has ended now and they’ve gone off for some extensive cat napping. Not the friends, the cats.
Ed Tom.... "How many of them things you got now?"
"Depends on what you mean by "got". Some of 'em are half wild, and some of 'em are just outlaws".... Cousin Ellis
You are not hosting the cats. The cats are using you.
They are gracing them with their presence.
We are not hosting cats.
2 years ago, the children's Godparents informed me that I was their estate's executor. When they moved to the Isle of Man, the last of their cats were gone, they say they don't intend to get new ones. So it appears I don't need to find homes for cats, thank goodness.
Their second home was built in 1865, with pine floors. One knot hole had come out, and if you stuck your finger through the hole and wiggle it, a feral cat would often paw at it. We taught my oldest son to do that, he loved visiting them just for that reason! 😀