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Phil H's avatar

I have a They Might Be Giants CD with some of their quirky songs and lyrics, like "Particle Man" and "They Might Be Giants" but especially their uptempo cover of an old swing era tune, "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo0X77OBJUg

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Jay Janney's avatar

https://photos.app.goo.gl/cvXBAEK9jMSySR2F7

March is a time of joy and sadness for me. My best friend Christy died many years ago about March 11th (many years ago). Many, many years prior to that, my Grandmother was born on March 6th, 1899. Here’s a story of the two of them together.

Lena Evadean Silvey Crockett would be 124 had she lived. Grandma lived to be nearly 94, but she wore out her body. She had osteoporosis so bad she looked like a shepherd’s crook, she was nearly blind, was deaf even when wearing hearing aids. Yet she considered herself blessed. She was as close to a saint as they make them. She read through her bible 6x annually, spending hours each day reading and in prayer. She had a giant page magnifying glass, laying it on each page so she could read it. She broke more spines (of bibles) than Bane in the Batman movies.

She was staying with my parents one fall, so I decided to take her for ice cream. I called my best friend Christy, simply asking ‘Ivanhoes run: up?”, and she responded “I am down!” “Ten minutes”. I had already placed Grandma in the car, so we got to Christy’s dorm 2 minutes early, causing her to ask if a solar spot occurred, since I was early. “I have a surprise for you”, but I need you to ride in back, get in my side. Christy arched an eyebrow at me. “trust me, okay”? We walked to the car, and through the window she saw my grandmother, grinning. “A chaperone? You feeling tempted or something? It ain’t happening, pretty boy”.

I explained Grandmother Crockett was essentially deaf, and mostly blind, so we had to be gentle with her. “But this is who I got my love of ice cream from, and she’s never been to Ivanhoes”. In my rear view mirror Christy was smiling. Seeing me care for my Grandma was a treat.

Grandma Crockett asked if she had permission to open her window. Sure! “Christy, if you sit behind me the breeze won’t bother you”. Christy was fine with a breeze, so she leaned forward, rolling down Grandma’s window. I pulled to the side of the road, removing the sun roof. Grandma began to smile and laugh, lifting her hands together in front of her face. She loved the feel of the breeze on her face. Given how much time she spent inside, this was a treat. Off we went, although I drove much slower than normal. I asked Grandma some questions, sometimes she looked at me. But she didn’t hear the questions, so she didn’t respond. We rolled into Ivanhoes before the crowds hit. I got out, helped Christy out, she and I walked around the car to help Grandma out. Grandma held out an elbow for each of us, Christy happily took her arm. Because it wasn’t crowded, we were able to snag a booth easily. I sat Grandma down at the table. I told Christy “She loves peanuts, a mini something with peanuts. One of use should sit here while the other orders” and she agreed. I started to give Christy a $20, and she pushed it back “Go order, I gotta get her to spill some dirt on her little pretty boy”.

I got back to the table, where Christy sat across the table from my Grandma, holding her hand. Grandma was regaling her with a story. Christy’s heavenly smile shined even brighter than normal. Now I had a dilemma: do I sit by my best friend/unofficial girl friend or by Grandma? Christy solved the problem for me, saying she sat my grandmother so my left hand was free for ice cream. I was sitting next to my grandmother. Christy was not only not jealous someone else was the center of attention, she enjoyed Grandma getting all the attention.

Holding all our hands together, I asked Grandma to bless our food, and she did, perhaps a bit too loudly, as the tables about us hushed, even the counter help went quiet. Being deaf she didn’t always know how loud she might be speaking. She thanked God for at least a dozen things or so, including ice cream. She beamed while praying, and it occurred to me that Grandma’s smile could compete with

Christy’s heavenly smile. She was a blessing for a good many people that night.

Grandma then volunteered a story about growing up. When she was a young woman, one of her friends had a model T and a bear. He took that bear with him everywhere in town. There was no top, you got plenty of fresh air. Once he stopped at her house where they went off for ice cream. He ordered three cones, one for each of them. And she laughed. “I’m glad there are no bears in here”! Christy asked her about the bear. “He was a friendly fellow. Of course, he was friendly because he wanted to finish your ice cream for you.” Christy looked at me and smirked, but didn’t interrupt Grandma. “The way he looked at me, it seemed best to let him have the last bite or so”, and she laughed again. “It’s okay Grandma, I often feel the same way with Jay”, and Christy laughed. Being a Deaf-Ed major, she knew to look at Grandma while speaking, enunciating with a bit of pause, helping her hear.

Christy was the perfect hostess, asking her many questions about life in general. Grandma Crockett talked of the depression, how it was hard when her husband Walter had to go to Pennsylvania for work. She talked of how my mother was fiercely independent, unafraid of any crowd. She talked of living with Aunt Mary, and spending summers with my family. Christy let her talk, and eventually Grandma Crockett was worn out. She had one bite left, and offered it to us. Christy told her “He’s the bear”, and I told her no. But Grandma didn’t want it wasted, so I took one for the team. Christy smiled.

We got up, helping her into her car seat. I held Christy’s door and she took my hand to sit down. We drove back as Grandma smiled. I dropped Christy at the church lounge, asking her to wait for me, as I’d take Grandma home, and be back in 20-30 minutes. Christy told me “I’ll wait for you” then she paused “for however long it takes”, then smiled.

I got Grandma home, chatted with her, made sure she was fine. Once I felt a clean conscience about leaving I returned. I could have left sooner, Grandma was thrilled with all the attention she got, we had made her day. Christy would also have been fine if I gave Grandma some extra attention tonight, she wouldn’t feel jealous or less important. She liked what she saw tonight.

As I got back, we went for a walk, she told me my Grandmother was delightful, that when I went to order she had told Christy she loved her. I asked Christy if she believed the bear story, she smiled, didn’t think it was a lie, but Grandma was close to 90. Christy asked more stories of Grandma, so I told of taking her for a ride in my convertible, how when I left the driveway we putt putt puttered out around the bend in the road. I’d then drop the top, gun it, and Grandma would hold her hands up in the air, feeling the breeze. “Wheeeee”. After church, we snuck an ice cream cone, then drove home along country roads where I can zip a bit, to her delight. As we got to the bend in the road, I put the top back up, then putt putted along so Mom wouldn’t know the fun we had. Christy laughed “more blackmail info to use”.

We headed back inside, going to a prayer room where we could recline on a couch. She laid her head against my shoulder, with her right shoulder up, so it was in less pain. I held her as she drifted off, caressing her shoulder, kissing her forehead, letting her nap for nearly 3 hours. Before she woke up in pain I gently woke her up, getting her some Tylenol. I then drove her back to her dorm where she yawned, giving me an absent minded hug good night with a kindly peck on my cheek. She meandered in, with hopes of getting a few more hours of sleep without pain. The next day she told me she got another 3 hours before the pain woke her up.

In many ways Christy feared these evenings, thinking I found her naps boring. They were my favorite. She had such an angelic face (all the better to hide her prankster spirit), watching her up close was a real joy, never boring. Besides, I always had a book nearby, and could read uninterrupted for an hour, sometimes as many as three before the pain throughout the right side of her body got so bad it woke her up. So I was happy and contented, while she worried she was boring. Besides, when she was asleep she couldn’t prank me, nor launch a TICKLEATTACK!

As for Grandmother Crockett, she continued to live what she thought was a blessed life. She planted sunflower seeds in our yard without telling Mom, then tending to them when they began to grow, getting so tall Dad got her a footstool to stand on as she smelled them, trimming them. She gave thanks to our Heavenly Father for such delightful delights such as sunflowers, ice cream, and memories of friendly bears who were happy to finish your ice cream for you.

My parents bought their home in 1954, after they died, we sold it in 2010. In 2022, the new owners (who bought from the people we sold it to) posted something on FB, asking if anyone knew any Crocketts, as they found an old shoe box in the attic of photos. The box got back to us, and among the photos, was the one in the link, of Grandma’s suitor feeding his pet bear an ice cream cone.

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M. Trosino's avatar

A nice story, well told. Props.

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Richard Maxton's avatar

another great story! Thanks for sharing, Jay.

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R.A. Watman (Anne)'s avatar

You are a good story teller, Jay. ❤️

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Jay Janney's avatar

Many thanks for the kind words.

I may edit that, and on her birthday I may send it in a letter to her parents. The past two years, I've sent her parents a story for her birthday.

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R.A. Watman (Anne)'s avatar

I’m sure they would cherish it.

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Josh Blumenthal's avatar

For many years, I have maintained that life is about moments. Events are nice, but not nearly as important and we should note, cherish and sometimes write down our moments. You obviously carry them with you and you write about them beautifully.

Jonah never had a chance.

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Jack's avatar

Y’know, Plato’s Cave is The Matrix for Ancient Greece.

Edit: also, Good Morning. TMD is talking about the AUKUS submarine deal.

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M. Trosino's avatar

Don't know if you ever read The Shovel, but those guys Down Under are talking about it, too...

https://www.theshovel.com.au/2023/03/16/albo-extras-package-submarines/

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R.A. Watman (Anne)'s avatar

Leather seats AND Bose! 😂

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IncognitoG's avatar

That’s exactly the news site I’ve been looking for!

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M. Trosino's avatar

I love those guys. Never heard of them until their thing about Trump and the nuclear code 'picture book' came out a few years ago. Been following them ever since. Don't get some of the items that involve things specific to Australian politics with which I'm unfamiliar. But the stuff they do in their 'world reporting' is usually a gas.

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R.A. Watman (Anne)'s avatar

I read that, and I’m all for it.

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The original Optimum.net's avatar

Good morning. Supposed to be in the high 30s/low 40s today, which should help considerably with the melting and find out if that is a Volkswagen on my deck. The snow yesterday was actually too heavy even to snowshoe. Sigh. Should be nice and groomed up for skiing, I hope. Well, that's the weather, now over to our news desk....

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CynthiaW's avatar

Daughter C is texting cat pictures and roommate gripes.

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Jay Janney's avatar

How do her friends tell those two apart?

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CynthiaW's avatar

The cat says MEOW, "pronouncing each letter distinctly," while the roommate speaks only Nerdmumble.

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Jay Janney's avatar

How bad is the nerdmumble? Can the roomie still use voice to text?

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CynthiaW's avatar

I don't know. When he's here, he sometimes says a distinct sentence.

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CynthiaW's avatar

Son B went to work. The rest of the family may be dead.

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R.A. Watman (Anne)'s avatar

😂 I like how your mind works!

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The original Optimum.net's avatar

Play some Nine Inch Nails. That could wake the dead.

Alternate theory: Its not a Volkswagen on my deck. Its the rest of your family...

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M. Trosino's avatar

That VW thing again? It must be starting to bug you.

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Brian's avatar

Funny thought about NIN: I play guitar and learned a Johnny Cash remake of a Nine Inch Nails song...Hurt. I can’t imagine a more unexpected artist/cover combination.

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Jay Janney's avatar

I actually prefer Johnny Cash's cover of it. It's beautiful.

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Brian's avatar

Yes it is. I’m still relatively new at guitar and it wasn’t a hard one to learn. I really enjoy it.

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CynthiaW's avatar

Wonderful performance from Johnny Cash.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AHCfZTRGiI

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CynthiaW's avatar

Don't feed them: they'll never leave.

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The original Optimum.net's avatar

Got it.

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CynthiaW's avatar

Excellent songs.

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CynthiaW's avatar

Good morning. It is cold again here. I think my electric blanket is failing.

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Josh Blumenthal's avatar

If you ask Kim to name the best gift I ever gave her, she will tell you it is the electric mattress pad. Heat from below beats the electric blanket by a mile and I preheat the bed each night so we never hit cold sheets. If your electric blanket fails, go with the mattress pad and turn it on 30 minutes before you go to bed. You can either wait or prewrite the thank you note, but you will write it.

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CynthiaW's avatar

I have the electric blanket in the living room for when I get up at 5:00 a.m. in the cold. Also sometimes to warm a cat.

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R.A. Watman (Anne)'s avatar

That sounds perfect (I was going to say “purrfect,” but I’d be breaking my own rules!).

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R.A. Watman (Anne)'s avatar

I’ve always wanted one that could be set to warm my feet. It starts off so cold when we get in bed, and later I’m too warm! I also prefer mattress pads, but apparently you’re not supposed to use them with foam mattresses. Now, I have a heating pad for my feet.

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IncognitoG's avatar

Hiya! It’s 21 here. Supposed to be in the 50s the next two days.

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CynthiaW's avatar

I hear we might have 60s later today.

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R.A. Watman (Anne)'s avatar

I’m envious.

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Jay Janney's avatar

60s and 70s and even some 80s at the Y this morning. I'm not sure where the older ones are.

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CynthiaW's avatar

Maybe sleeping in.

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